December 9th.

This morning as I covered E back up with her blanket and gave her a kiss on her forehead, emotions of gratitude swept over my entire body. I cannot find the words to express just how much I love being a foster mom. I have loved more passionately, hurt more deeply, grieved more bitterly and have celebrated joyously throughout this entire process of caring for this sweet little girl than I could have ever imagined. I am willing to continue to walk down this path of joy, uncertainty, and heartache for her sake, to give her the wonderful life that she so much deserves. As I continue to embrace her brokenness, it paints such a vivid picture for me of how Jesus embraced ours. Counting down the days until she can possibly be apart of our forever family!! December 9th is the day! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers ♡  

All Aboard!!

Two weeks ago,we had the opportunity to go on a train ride. We got the tickets free through our Foster Care agency. I wanted to make it a surprise for E and all week I was just aching to tell her, but I knew her reaction would make it all worth it, so I kept my mouth shut. As we pulled up to the train station, I told her to close her eyes and wait until I say open. When she opened up her eyes, she looked out the window and yelled "Mama look look a train! Are we going on the train?!?! Chugga Chugga Choo Choo....all aboard!!"

I gotta tell you that this was definetly a once in a lifetime opportunity to be able to go on this train ride. There were clowns, dancing, music, food, prizes, face painting, and balloon making! It was so much fun. E, my Mom and I had such a blast.

You can see a few videos that I posted from our train ride trip on my Instagram HERE

What We Wore Wednesday and a Foster Care Update

On Monday, we got the opportunity to attend a Foster Care Review Board Meeting for E. 

A Foster Care Review Board Meeting advises the juvenile court on progress toward achieving a permanent home for a child or children involved in a dependency action and in an out-of-home placement. There are 5 volunteer board members. The well-being of these children is the highest concern to these board members. I am so grateful to them for the time and effort they put into insuring that each child can find a forever home.

I am also grateful that Josh and I as foster parents where able to be there to be a voice for E. To express our concerns, our opinions and also tell them how great E is doing in our home and just how much we love and adore her. They asked us if we would have any interest in adopting her. Josh and I both shook our heads right away at the same time and said most definitely!

Our Case Manager also showed up to the meeting too which was a HUGE blessing for us, because she bragged and bragged to the board about Josh and I and also told them about how E is growing and thriving in our home, how happy she really is and how she calls Josh "Daddy" and me "Mommy". She called our home the perfect home and expressed that she wishes that we could take in more children to love and care for. She express to the board that she has been a Case Manager for a long time and that she believes that there is a forever home out there for each child.

The board was also very elated that we were there as E's foster parents supporting her and fighting for her. She is worth the fight in every single way. Every. Single. Way.

E's Mom is still no where to be found. She has been in contact with her Dad, but presents no interest in trying to get her children back. She has missed numerous visits, court hearings and other important meetings. It's sad. Very sad. I pray a lot for her.

Towards the end of the meeting, the "head" of the board pointed to our Case Manager and said:

"Mom obviously has no interest or desire to get her children back. It's been months. There has been no contact and no effort on her part whatsoever. The board's final vote is to have the Mother's right severed as quickly as possible and get these children in permanent homes. Homes that are going to love and care for these children like they should be loved and cared for."

The next step in all of this is for the board members to present their opinions and final decision to the Judge and then the Judge will make the final call. (fingers crossed)

After the meeting was over, the head of the board came around to us, shook our hands and thanked us for all that we have done for E and for stepping up to the plate to make a difference in these kiddos lives. 

I was ecstatic after leaving the meeting and cried like a baby on the way back to work thanking God repeatedly for His faithfulness, His goodness, and His love throughout all of this. Some days I ponder and think about how we got here...how we got to this point in our lives. I never thought in a million years that I would be a foster Mother fostering these sweet wonderful children. I have been praying and praying fervently for over a year to get pregnant. I guess the Lord had different plans for our family. I am so so thankful that Josh and I listened to the promptings of the spirit to become foster parents. That we accepted this call to serve Him and love and serve His children. All of it is because of Him. All of it! I am so grateful for Him and His wonderful plan for our lives. He is so good!

I hope you will stay tuned and continue to follow us on our Foster Care journey!

What is God doing in your life? I would love to hear about it! Comment below.

 

(me) skirt: thrifted // top: thrifted // jacket: Ross // necklace: F21 // watch: Target 
(e) top and dress: thrifted // shoes: gift

"MAMA......I WANT MY JESUS"

For all you Mama's out there, I am sure that you have all had those scary Mommy moments..maybe many of them. Those moments when something happens to your child and you instantly freeze for a couple of seconds like your mind has stopped working and you don't have a clue what to do next. I had one of those moments about two nights ago with E. 
When we got E, she had to have a lot of dental work done. Now when I say a lot of work.......I mean a lot of work...like $3,000 worth of work. It just blew my mind. She's only 4!! She had to have 4 crowns put in, work done to her two front teeth and about 2 weeks ago she has to have spacers put in on each side of her mouth. Poor girl. One thing I can say though is that she is such a champ. If you would have seen her, you would have never known that she had all that work done on her mouth. She was still so full of life, running around and playing everywhere. You know those people who just have a zest for life? Yeah..she's one of them. 

Earlier this week I picked her up from school and her teacher said that E had a bloody noise a little bit after lunch time. She said it freaked her out because one minute E was playing and the next minute she looked up at her and saw blood running out of her nose. I told her teacher I would keep an eye on it and if it continued then I would call her doctor about it. 

That night our night was like any other night. I put E to bed about 8:45pm. Close to 9pm, I hear her shouting from her room "Mama....Mama...come here please." I got up and went to her bedroom. She was standing at the doorway behind the baby gate and had a little bit of blood dripping from her nose. I picked her up, told her she was okay and brought her into our bathroom to clean her up. I sat with her for a few minutes to make sure she was okay and then I put her back into bed. Not even 20 minutes later I hear again"Mama....Mama...come here please" I got up and went to her bedroom once again. 

As I walked down the hallway, I could see her standing in the doorway again. As I got closer and looked at her, she had blood covered all around her mouth, on her shirt and on her hands. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said "Mama...look" as she pointed down to her shirt scared. “It’s okay sweetheart, Mommy will make you feel all better…come here honey.” I picked her up and once again and brought her back into our bathroom the second time around. I sat her up on our counter as I wiped her bloody nose, the blood around her mouth and on her hands. I got a cup and filled it up with some water and had her rinse all the blood out of her mouth. Josh stood by her side just rubbing her arm reassuring her that everything would be ok. “I don’t know why this is happening or where all the blood is coming from”, I said to Josh as we looked at each other confused. I then thought and said to E “Honey open up your mouth really wide for Mommy okay?” She turned to me and opened up her mouth so I could take a look inside. As she opened her mouth, there was a pool of blood. I had her rinse with water for a second time then had her open wide again. As I looked the second time around, I noticed a small pool of blood in the middle of her spacer where they pulled a tooth. I soaked it up with some gauze and then looked again. “Josh look honey..this is where all the blood is coming from, she must of somehow punctured the gum and made it bleed.” Josh ran and got more gauze out of our first aid kit and had her bite down on it to soak up some to the blood. Josh gave her a kiss on her cheek said “I love you”, picked her up and carried her to our bed.

 On my nightstand, I have a picture of Jesus Christ (the one above). She rolled over and picked up the picture and said “Mama..I want my Jesus…I want my Jesus..I want my Jesus", she said over and over again as she stared at His picture. That was a moment that I will never forget and will always be ingrained in my mind. It was one of the sweetest, tender moments I have experienced. She recognized that she needed Jesus right then because she was hurt and feeling sad. I stood there as I listened to her talking to his picture and tears flooded my eyes. For the next hour, all three of us snuggled up in bed together. We ended up changing the gauze two more times before it stopped bleeding completely. As I laid there holding my sweet Husband’s hand and with E nestled right in between us, I closed my eyes and felt overwhelmed with a spirit of gratitude thanking Heavenly Father for blessing me with such a wonderful Husband and a sweet little girl to join our family at this time. 
God is so faithful, so merciful, so loving and so kind. He is so good!

*I ended up calling her dentist the next day and he informed me that she must have punctured the gum pretty bad to make it bleed the way it did. We are going to keep a close watch on her and he said if it happens again soon, to bring her in so he can see her.

WITH GOD ON YOUR SIDE WISHES REALLY DO COME TRUE.

The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions to say the least. I have doubted my faith and I have felt weak, but after much prayer, God has brought me to a place where He has given me an incredible amount of peace with everything, knowing that He has it all under control. I feel content and I know that is because of Him. He heals. He comforts. He strengthens. He succors. He understands completely. I handed it all over to Him and told Him that I trusted whatever the outcome would be and would trust that He has a plan that is so wonderful beyond my imagination. I have found in my life through my struggles and trials that when I decide to let go and trust in God completely, that's when He seems to move and bless. Yesterday we sat by our phones waiting for the call from our CPS worker to tell us when E would be leaving this week. The call finally came through and the news we heard was something that we were not expecting at all. Our prayers had been answered and I thanked God over and over and over again!    Right now E's older sister is with their maternal Grandpa and his newly married wife. They have had her sister for close to two weeks and informed CPS that they cannot handle having two kids right now, that its too much as it is with her sister and can't imagine having to take care of the both of them. The Grandpa also told CPS about a friend of E's Mother that took care of E when she was younger and they were hoping to eventually adopt her, then E's Mother came back into the picture and said that she wanted E back. Our CPS worker told us that the decision was up to us. Right now CPS has no contact with her Mother and can't even get in touch with her at all. Our worker told us that we have two options. We can either keep E or give her up to her Mother's friend. We were confused as to why that would even be an option, because she is so happy living with us. Why move her again? We of course made the decision to keep her. The time that she will stay with us is unknown and up in the air. Right now she will be with us until the Grandpa decides to take her or if and when she can go back to be with her Mom. So from here on out, we are just going to take it day by day and continue to trust God because He knows exactly what He is doing. I am so grateful for that. Grateful for a loving God that has a plan....a great plan.....a plan that is so much better than our own. I am so grateful that He has answered our prayers for E. He is so good. He is so faithful. He is always faithful. With God on your side, wishes really do come true!!   I hope that you will continue to follow our foster care journey!  

MISSING HAND TOWEL AND BEING A GOOD EXAMPLE.

Last week, Josh, E and I were outside planting flowers in our two front flower beds. After we were done, we came inside to get a cold drink and have a Popsicle together. The first thing I did was wash my hands. I couldn't find my gardening gloves, so my hands were covered in dirt. As I reached for the hand towel, it was gone. I went into our linen closet to find another one to dry my hands with. As I was walking out of our bathroom, I could hear music down the hallway coming from E's bedroom. As I approached the bedroom, the door was slightly shut. I peered my eyes through the opening of the doorway to find E rocking her stuffed frog (wrapped in the hand towel..hahaha) back and forth singing I Am a Child of God. I stood there in the doorway for a couple of minutes just listening to her sweet voice and praising God for His goodness and faithfulness for placing this child in our home. As I walked in, E looked up at me and said "Mama..shhhhhh (with her little finger to her lips) I am rocking my froggy to sleep. He's so tired, He's had a very rough day." Every night at bedtime, I sit in this same chair rocking her to sleep and sing children's hymns to her. "Mama..can you sing to me please?!?" 

It's so true when I hear people say that children are like little sponges. Without us even realizing it, they soak up every little thing we say and do. If we pay attention to what our children say to us, though, we realize just how much they pay attention to us. They look to us to set the example, to be their guidance, and to teach them right from wrong. They want us to establish boundaries for them, and they learn from us how to behave, and how to treat others. As we all go about our busy lives it is important to ask ourselves what kind of example we are setting for our children. What we do and say shapes the people they will become, so we need to stop for a moment and take into account what kind of future adults we are creating. I am so grateful that I am able to be an example to her. I hope that when she leaves next week, that she will always remember the many things we taught her, the example we set before her and the unconditional love that we showed her. I hope that she will always remember us and remember all the love she felt as she was with us in our home. I know that we will never forget her and she will always have a HUGE place deep inside our hearts.

Listen to E singing part of I Am a Child of God. I love her sweet voice! Click HERE to listen.

IT'S NOT GOODBYE....BUT SEE YOU LATER.

I broke the news to my Mom about E leaving just the night before after our Case Manager left. I called her and we both sobbed on the phone together. She told me she wanted to see her as much as she possibly could before she left. Last night we went out to dinner with my Mom and her fiance to Rudy's BBQ (mmm mmm good!!) and took a ton of pictures together. E loves my heart sunglasses. "Mama...can I wear your hearts.. pretty please...pretty please?!?!" This picture that Josh captured of my Mom and E is my favorite. She loves kisses and lots of them. I taught her how to give Eskimo kisses too and she loves that!
 From the moment E stepped into our home, I had an instant connection with her. She was attached to me and I was attached to her. It wasn't too long after that she started calling me Mommy. When you hear a child call you Mommy for the very first time, your world turns upside down for just a moment and your heart skips a beat or two. I hoped and prayed that she would be with us forever. With my Mom, she had that same connection too. From the very first time she met my Mom, she started calling her Grandma (of course you could imagine how my Mom felt! She melted and took it all in!) They instantly bonded and its so funny to watch the two of them together. They laugh, dance, and sing together. One day when we were over my Mom's house swimming, we got out of the pool and had some homemade sorbet.  My Mom took a bite and said "MMMMM MMMM GOOD!" E started laughing hysterically and then copied my Mom. The two of them went back and forth for a good 15 minutes taking turns and then laughing hysterically together. 
 "I have only known E for just a short amount of time and I love her so very much. She is such a sweet little girl and has such a joyous spirit about her. I am going to miss her SO much. I love that little girl. I really wish she didn't have to go. This is SO hard Kimberly. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. I'm so sorry. I just pray to God every day that she will get just as much love, attention, affection and care that you and Josh have given her. I will always love her and she will forever have a huge place in my heart. It's not goodbye...but see you later." -Mom

I'M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE JUST YET.

We have had the wonderful blessing of having E in our home for a little over 8 weeks now. This past week I have been really praying fervently about God's will for our family and His will for her. I have learned...when you ask God for something, be prepared for Him to answer! Yesterday there was a court hearing in the morning and last night we met our new ongoing CPS worker. On my drive home from work, I kept praying that we would get an update on her case or some good news. I told myself...whatever happens has to happen. It's all in His hands..so I rested my thoughts on that. We received just the opposite of what we desired to hear. She first asked us about E to see how she has been adjusting in our home and if there is anything that we should tell her that they would need to know about. In the next breath, she mentioned the word "transitioning" (of course you could imagine what I instantly felt as I heard that one simple word). My stomach immediately dropped and my heart instantly starting aching as the tears streamed down my face. 
She told us that E would be moving on to live with her Grandpa, his wife and her 6 year old sister. From day one when she was placed into the foster care system, CPS was trying to search out family for her to live with and they had no luck. Her Grandpa somehow found out that she was removed and placed within the system. He immediately called and told them he wanted to care for her and her older sister. The ultimate goal in Foster Care is always reunification with the biological parents or other family members that can care for the child or children. Our CPS worker couldn't give us an exact time frame on how much longer she will be with us, but she estimated about 10 days or less...but nothing longer than that. It could be any day now. So we wait.
The time that we have been able to spend with her has been so bittersweet. I will always love her and will miss her like crazy. She will always have a huge place in my heart. Josh and I are going to take the short amount of time that we have left with her to have a lot of fun, continue to give her all the love that we possibly can, and to cherish every moment for the next week or less. I really don't have any words to describe just how much my heart is aching right now. I have been praying for strength, comfort and peace...and mostly for E and her little heart. I know I need to continue to lean on God for strength and trust in Him. I know that God doesn't cause pain without allowing something new to be born. (Isaiah 66:9) He is always faithful. I am ready to continue this wonderful journey that He has prepared for our family. I know that if I am brave and strong enough to say Goodbye, that He will bless us with a new Hello.

THE TOUCH OF A CHILD'S HAND.

The promise of tomorrow

And the hope of dreams come true,

A reminder of the childhood

That is still a part of you.

The wonder of a miracle

From which this love began

There is so much found

In the touch of holding a child's hand.

WORDS OF A TODDLER.

  "Mama I have hiccups. Can you give me a band-aid for my hiccups in my throat??"
We had to pick up our car at the shop the other night. I drove one car, Josh drove the other. She shouted out in the back, "Daddy! Wait for me! Mama, drive faster and catch my Daddy!"
Putting on one of my fedora hats, she will take it off and bow at me and say "Mama your majesty" Place it back on her head, take it off and bow down again "Mama your majesty." (she will do this over and over and over and over again)
We had friends over last night for dinner. Josh had the house all clean when I got home from work, which I was so grateful for. As I was changing, she stood in front of our closet threw her hands up in the air saying "Mama! This is a mess! We better get this cleaned up right away before our friends come over to my house!"

"Here Shadow...you can wear my necklace too! I will share it with you."

FEEDING THE DUCKS.

Right down the street from our house there is this little lake with a water fountain in the center of it. It's so pretty and peaceful. It's the perfect spot to have a picnic. Before she was placed in our home, every time we drove by I used to tell Josh "When we get our first placement, I want to come down here and feed the ducks!" So on Saturday afternoon that is just what we did. She had such a blast. She was smiling and giggling the entire time and shouting "Mama this is very much fun!" (that is toddler talk for you). As we were getting ready to leave, we started walking to the car. She turned around and said "Mama..the ducks are running after us! Run! Run!" There was this one white duck that was super fast, so fast that at one point I thought I would have to pick her up and run. I immediately grabbed her hand and we ran together saying "Run! Run" while we laughed and ran away from the white duck. When we got back to the car she leaned over and put her hands on her knees trying to catch her breathe and said "Phew! That was a close one Mama....but those ducks can't catch us!" while shaking her finger. I just love her to pieces! She brings so much happiness into our home and I am so grateful that we get to care for her at this time in her life. I hope and pray that she won't ever leave, but in the end I have to trust God and His plan, not mine.    

 

 

 

COMMON MYTHS ABOUT FOSTER CARE.

Myth: Most children in foster care have had dozens of placements. Reality: The average number of placements for a foster child is around three.
Myth: I have no control over which children I'm asked to foster. Reality: You can't choose the specific child that you would like to foster, but you can narrow it down to what you would be interested in. Age, gender, and ethnicity. 
Myth: I cant be a foster parent if I have a full-time job outside of the home.  Reality: You don't need to be a stay at home Mother to foster! If the child requires daycare, that is paid for
Myth: As a foster parents, I will receive little to no support from the State.  Reality: You receive a reimbursement for food, clothing, medical, dental, counseling services and daycare.
Myth: I am not allowed to adopt any of the children that I foster.  Reality: While slightly more than half of the children who enter foster care return to their birth families, there are still thousands of children who cannot return home. Of the 51,000 children in foster care last year, 54 percent were adopted by their foster parents. 
Myth: It's really hard to become a foster parent. Reality: It's not as hard as you think. Yes there is training and a TON of paperwork but its SO worth it in the end!
Myth: You have to be married to be a foster parent.  Reality: Everyone is welcome. People who cohabit, divorced or single may become foster parents.
Myth: Biological parents are "bad" people who should never be allowed to get their child or children back. Reality: Biological parents love their children but they are having difficulties maintaining their safety and well-being. DCF ensures the safety of children, while helping parents access the resources and services they need to help overcome their current circumstances. The department works with biological parents, caregivers and community providers to assist with reunification when appropriate. However, when reunification is not at all possible, the department looks to place a child into an adoptive home.
Myth: Adopting a child through foster care is expensive. Reality: Adopting a child through foster care is virtually free. Many agencies do not charge for the services they provide to families who are adopting a child from foster care. 
Myth: Children in foster care have too much "baggage." Reality: This is one of the biggest myths of all. Children in foster care, just like all children, have ENORMOUS potential to thrive given love, patience and a stable environment. 
Myth: I can’t be a foster parent because I would get too attached. It would be too hard to see them leave. (This is the most asked question I get) Reality: It’s true — you WILL get attached, and it will be painful when children you love leave. But these children have suffered through things no child should ever face, and they need the love and care foster parents provide when they open their hearts and homes. When God calls you to do His work, He’s going to make sure you’re equipped to do it.

Are you a foster parent? Would you ever consider becoming a foster parent? 
Have questions? Comment below, I would love to hear from you!!

THE THINGS SHE SAYS.

Her: "Mama, I want to fly!" Me: "You need wings to fly baby girl" Her: "Okay..well lets go buy some at the store so we can!!"
Her: "Mama, did you eat your food all gone?" Me: "Yup. It's in my tummy right now" Her: "Can I see??"
To her cousins at Sunday dinner: "Come on kids, come on kids!"
Every night............ Her: "Mama, is it shower-time?" Me: "Yup it's shower-time" Her: "And then cuddles and you sing?" Me: "Yes honey, Mama will cuddle and sing to you"
Me: "Okay lets pray for the food" Her: "I want to pray!" Me: "Okay go ahead" (we all sit and wait and then she looks at me) Her: "Noooo...YOU talk!"
When Josh or I say something like you're so silly or you're too funny.. "Nope! I am (she says her name) and I'm 4!" (while holding 4 fingers up)

WHAT A FOSTER-TO-ADOPTION PROCESS IS REALLY LIKE

But While You Fly, You Still Wait 

Written by Kelley Porter for Portrait of an Adoption

It was the Friday of Labor Day weekend when we got the call, our first foster care placement. Would we be willing to take a baby girl, 5-weeks-old? How does anyone say no to that?

Already the parents of two wonderful boys, my husband and I considered the idea of adoption, but he was much more hesitant than I was. There was something calling to me, almost like a vision. I could see us as a family of five, with a little girl in the mix. It took some heavy debating and arm-twisting (and a little nudge from his cousin the social worker) to finally convince my husband that this was the right step for us.

When considering adoption, foster-to-adopt was the only consideration I had in mind. We live in a small town; an adoption agency did not seem readily available. Of course, being related to a social worker also convinced us that foster-to-adopt would work for us. A new year came, we took the leap. By February we were ensconced in training. Through this training we saw the worst of worst case scenarios, but still we went on. Sane people would have been scared away, but for some reason we kept up. Finally, certified as foster parents! Then … the wait.

The wait … When considering foster-to-adopt, the wait is part of the process. The wait to get through classes, the wait for “the call.” Then the placement call comes, and you jump in with both feet. Figuring out daycare, appointments here, appointments there. "WIC," what is that? Snuggles and bedtime stories. Hugs and wiping away tears. Hurry up and clean, the social worker is stopping by today! It is everyday life flying by you, so busy ... but while you fly, you still wait. You parent, and you love, and you wait for the foster system. While you love, more and more each day, you set to the side the reminders that you have absolutely and positively no control over the future of the little person in your care. You pray for forever, but social workers have a different job. In your mind you say there are no guarantees here, and you foolishly believe you have control over your heart, but you don’t. A day, a week, a month, and that’s it, you are hopelessly and forever in love. But still, you wait, until the powers that be establish whether you are a forever family or not.

I do not think there is any amount of training that can truly prepare a person to understand the opposing elements of fostering-to-adopt, and the State’s number one goal, which is reunification of families. Sure they warn you, sure your head “understands.” Logically you can spout off to any person who will listen that it is important to keep families together. Realistically, though, to the heart, it is a different matter. Your heart tells you there is no way in the world you will let this child live in this world in less than ideal circumstances. And it is the noblest of the noble who can cheer on birth families and wish them all the best to reunify. These people are saints among us, and they make our world a better place. They must operate in a manner of faith that I know I did not have while I was waiting. I will be the first to admit I was more than relieved when our birth mom left the state. It just confirmed in my heart that my baby girl was meant to be mine, forever.

About two weeks short of two years later, we finally had our adoption hearing. In a courtroom full of our family members, we promised to love and care and raise our little girl, no matter what challenges lie ahead. What a beautiful day it was. Our day of meant to be. And what a little treasure my daughter is. Joyful, sweet, sassy, and strong! All in an itty bity little package. She is the link that completes our family.

I must admit, though, that I know so much more now than I did then. Today I learned of a fellow foster mom who won’t be transitioning to forever family, and her heart is thoroughly and indescribably broken. I believe she knew through this process that forever might not come, but, just like me, she pushed the doubt aside. How can you not? One squeeze and a kiss good night, and you cannot fathom that this is not your forever.

To jump into the world of foster-to-adopt, a person must be absolutely fearless, and find within them a certain measure of faithfulness. Faith that this situation will turn out the way it is supposed to, and that I will have the strength to live with the result, no matter what it might be. This is the advice I would give if someone asked me now. You must be fearless enough to live in the moment, and love with all you’ve got -- these children deserve this because no child comes into foster care without some sort of painful history. Fearless, but faithful, faithful in a way that means you might not end up where you wanted to be. For us, I really believe we thought we knew what we were getting into, but now I understand we were definitely naïve, so naïve, and so lucky.

In our country, as a whole, there is such a need for loving and caring foster families. There is also a need to be realistic about the foster-to-adopt process, and a need for much education about why reunification is important, if it is possible. Finally, we must fight the notion that foster children are broken; because they are not. These children are resilient and brave and have so much to offer us all. No baby is born into this world with a guarantee of perfection, and the same is true of children who are in foster care. Yes, these kids might have needs that a foster parent did not expect, and to be a foster parent or foster-to-adopt parent, you must be willing to seek help if it is necessary. But this is so true for any parent, no matter how your family comes together. I am so very thankful that we took this journey, that we, without really understanding or knowing at the time, were fearless, faithful, and truly lucky.

VISIT THE FATHERLESS

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the  fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. -James 1:27

MY VERY FIRST MOTHERS DAY

This Sunday will be my very first Mothers Day. It's so hard to believe that I am actually a Mama now. These are the days that I have dreamed and prayed of for as long as I can remember and they are finally here! What a beautiful and sacred responsibility it is to be a mother! 
The past few weeks that we have had her, have been weeks that I will never forget and always cherish. They weeks have been filled with laughter, happiness, confusion, smiles, cuddles, disappointments, and lots of heartache. I look and think of the incredible blessing of having her right now at this very moment. She is ours right now for however long God will keep her with us for. I stand in awe of Him, amazed by all of His many blessings. I never thought I could experience and feel a love so deep as I have with this sweet child. It's an unconditional, pure and innocent love that I cannot even begin to describe. She is His daughter. His angel. His princess. His everything. Each night as I rock her to sleep, I sing "I Am a Child of God" to her and tell her just how much I love her and most importantly how much God loves her and that she is special in every way. As I gently place her in her bed, I pray over her and ask God to bless her, protect her, strengthen her, give her wisdom and guide her throughout her life. Whenever I hear her sweet voice speak the words "Mommy", "I love you", "I want to cuddle with you" or "I want to pray", it makes me smile from ear to ear and my heart pound a gazillion miles a minute. For all you Mama's out there, I just want to wish you a very Happy Mother's day from the bottom of my heart and give you a big hug for all you do. You are amazing!