Magical

"Mama. You are so magical. I love you like a BIG heart!"

These sweet words from her little lips gave me chills up and down my body as my eyes started to swell up. I instantly grabbed her little body into my arms and hugged her ever so tightly. It touches my heart deep to the core knowing that in her eyes she believes I am magical. It makes me feel as if I am doing something right and being the best Mama I can be for her.

It's moments like these that I grasp and hold onto so tightly. I wish I could bottle each and every single one of these moments up and seal them forever. Sometimes I feel like these moments will eventually end or I will fail to recognize them and they will slip right through my fingers.

The truth is, moments like these are everything to me. They are something to cherish and always remember.

Motherhood is such an amazing journey. Truly a gift from Him above.

Some Really Exciting News

 

We received the best letter in the mail last week. Our adoption court date has been set for June 8th and we couldn't be more excited! We have had this sweet girl since April of last year. It has definitely been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. Fostering has been one of the best things I have experienced in my life, but also one of the most difficult too. It has been an emotional roller coaster filled with happiness, joy, gratitude, sorrow, heartache, fear, and doubt. Would I have changed any of it or have I ever wished that we would have never accepted this call to foster? Absolutely not. I wouldn't trade any of those emotions or any of the difficult times for anything. Nothing at all. In just a little over a month, this little angel with be apart of our forever family and that makes it all so worth it.

2015

2014 has come and gone so quickly. It's hard to believe its a new year already!

Last year was a year full of countless blessings, learning, loss, uncertainty, anxiety, and triumph. 

Here are some of the things that happened in 2014:

* We took my Dad into our home to care for him and lost him in July. I can say that was definitely one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing that I have ever been through. With the love and support of friends and family and a loving God, I came out of that stronger and more determined than ever before. I saw God's hand constantly in the midst of everything. I felt His love, His grace and His peace more than I ever have before. It was a time of heartache and sorrow, but it also was a time of reflection, healing and thankfulness. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him like crazy, but I have a strong feeling of faith, hope and peace within my soul that I will see him once again. I know that to be true with every fiber of my being. Feel free to read my Dad's eulogy that I wrote for him HERE.

* In April, after months and months of foster care training we finally got our first placement...a 4 year old little girl that we fell in love with instantly. From the moment she stepped through our front door, I had this strong feeling that she was meant to be apart of our forever family. I have never felt so many different emotions as I did with fostering. I experienced feelings of heartache, sorrow, anxiety, peace, hope, faith happiness, uncertainty, and fear at different times. In November, E's Moms rights were severed and we are now in the adoption process. The process with take about 4 months or so give or take so she will be able to be ours hopefully sometime around April of this year.

* We became business owners. My Husband, Josh was the Operations Manager for a company called Gamez on Wheelz for a little over 3 years. When Josh first got the offer to work for Gamez on Wheelz, he wasn't too sure as the pay was not that much. We talked about it and prayed about it. I will never forget me telling him to just take the job because something was telling me that God had big plans for him with this opportunity. Sure enough, one day his boss called him and ask him if he would be interested in purchasing the company. We were both ecstatic, especially Josh because he has always prayed and dreamed about being his own boss. This was a huge undertaking to take on but the more we prayed about it, God was putting things into place fast. The money that we needed literally just showed up one day. The process which should have taken alot longer took just weeks and boom!!....just like that we were the owners of Gamez on Wheelz!!

* Just two weeks before E's court date and us finding out she will be ours forever, I found out I was pregnant!!! Months after trying and praying it finally happened!! These two wonderful blessings hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt speechless by God's faithfulness and His goodness. I was over the moon excited. I am now just a little over 11 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good. Nauseous here and there and my back kills all the time but its all so worth it! 

Overall, 2014 was such a great minus the loss of my father. But in the grand scheme of everything God is so good. He is always good!! I have a feeling that 2015 will be a great year....a year of many new things....new adventures, new things to learn, new trials and new beginnings. We are ready for you 2015! Bring it on!!

My Cup Runneth Over

I cannot find the words to express how grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for His unfailing love, His goodness and His faithfulness. Yesterday E's Mom's rights were terminated and we can now move towards the adoption process so that she can be a part of our forever family!!! I wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your thoughts and prayers on behalf of E and our family. It really means so much to us. 

December 9th.

This morning as I covered E back up with her blanket and gave her a kiss on her forehead, emotions of gratitude swept over my entire body. I cannot find the words to express just how much I love being a foster mom. I have loved more passionately, hurt more deeply, grieved more bitterly and have celebrated joyously throughout this entire process of caring for this sweet little girl than I could have ever imagined. I am willing to continue to walk down this path of joy, uncertainty, and heartache for her sake, to give her the wonderful life that she so much deserves. As I continue to embrace her brokenness, it paints such a vivid picture for me of how Jesus embraced ours. Counting down the days until she can possibly be apart of our forever family!! December 9th is the day! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers ♡  

I'm Not Disappointed

December 9th. That is court date that is set for severance of E's Mom's rights. Believe me when I say that am counting down the days until that exact date...because I am. I have been waiting for her to be ours forever. I was ready from the moment that she walked through our door. Yesterday we had an unexpected hearing for E. The hearing was scheduled for her younger sister and brother. Last minute, (late last week) we heard about this hearing and our Case Manager told us that it would be great if we could be there, including E. She was going to attempt to present something called a "drive by severance" to the Judge. This normally happens when there are other siblings involved and each sibling has a different court date for possible severance or reunification with their parents. They present this drive by severance to the Judge in hopes that if they are already going to do severance on the other siblings then why wait for the other child or children. Our Case Manager has warned us that it might happen and it might not so not to get our hopes up.

When we arrived at the court house with E, we walked in praying for God's will and His perfect timing. As we approached the courtroom to wait to enter, there was a man standing walking back and forth staring out the window. First glance I knew he was E's brother's Dad. He glanced over at us, especially E a few times then finally walked over to us.

"Is that E?"

"Yes it is. My Husband and I are her foster parents."

Tears came to his eyes. "Last time I saw her was when she was only 7 or 8 months old and her Mom was trying to give her away to her friend because she didn't want her anymore. I actually have quite a few baby pictures of her if you would like to have them?"

"Of course I would! That would be awesome. Thank you so much. Hey....I wish you the best of luck today and my Husband and I really respect the right decision that you have made to step up to the plate and care for your son. That will mean so much to him and he needs you more than ever right now."

We were finally called into the courtroom. As I sat down in between Josh and E, I really thought about why we were there. We were there to support E, to be a voice for her and to fight for her until the end no matter what the outcome may be. I cannot tell you how good that felt. Even thinking about it now gives me goose bumps all over.

The hearing only lasted about 30 minutes. It was interesting to hear the other cases for E's brother and sister. Towards the end, the Judge asked:

 "Are the foster parents of E in the courtroom right now?"

"Yes your honor" as Josh and I raised our hands.

"I just want to first of all thank you for all that you are doing for this child and want to ask you if there is anything that we can do or if there is any kind of statement that you would like to express here today"

I immediately spoke up "Yes your honor I would like to say a few words. I just want to let you know that E has been in our home since April. She is such a special little girl in so many ways and such a joy to have in our home. She has grown and thrived tremendously and we love her so much"

"Thank you for your statement and thank you so much for taking the time to be here."

I could feel the hearing coming to an end and my gut was telling me that it wasn't going to happen...which it didn't. Instead of feelings of disappointment, I had feelings of peace and hope knowing that this is all in God's hands and in His perfect timing. I think it was a huge blessing and an advantage for us to just be able to be there in the first place. Being able to make a connection with E's brother's Dad, having the Judge see us there and being able to speak on behalf of E.

26 days today until December 9th! We are pushing forward with faith and hope in our God that is WAY bigger than the foster care system! 

Wish us luck!

All Aboard!!

Two weeks ago,we had the opportunity to go on a train ride. We got the tickets free through our Foster Care agency. I wanted to make it a surprise for E and all week I was just aching to tell her, but I knew her reaction would make it all worth it, so I kept my mouth shut. As we pulled up to the train station, I told her to close her eyes and wait until I say open. When she opened up her eyes, she looked out the window and yelled "Mama look look a train! Are we going on the train?!?! Chugga Chugga Choo Choo....all aboard!!"

I gotta tell you that this was definetly a once in a lifetime opportunity to be able to go on this train ride. There were clowns, dancing, music, food, prizes, face painting, and balloon making! It was so much fun. E, my Mom and I had such a blast.

You can see a few videos that I posted from our train ride trip on my Instagram HERE

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Happy Halloween! Hope you all have a great time tonight! I thought Halloween was fun before, but with a toddler now its a whole new world of awesomeness!

What We Wore Wednesday and a Foster Care Update

On Monday, we got the opportunity to attend a Foster Care Review Board Meeting for E. 

A Foster Care Review Board Meeting advises the juvenile court on progress toward achieving a permanent home for a child or children involved in a dependency action and in an out-of-home placement. There are 5 volunteer board members. The well-being of these children is the highest concern to these board members. I am so grateful to them for the time and effort they put into insuring that each child can find a forever home.

I am also grateful that Josh and I as foster parents where able to be there to be a voice for E. To express our concerns, our opinions and also tell them how great E is doing in our home and just how much we love and adore her. They asked us if we would have any interest in adopting her. Josh and I both shook our heads right away at the same time and said most definitely!

Our Case Manager also showed up to the meeting too which was a HUGE blessing for us, because she bragged and bragged to the board about Josh and I and also told them about how E is growing and thriving in our home, how happy she really is and how she calls Josh "Daddy" and me "Mommy". She called our home the perfect home and expressed that she wishes that we could take in more children to love and care for. She express to the board that she has been a Case Manager for a long time and that she believes that there is a forever home out there for each child.

The board was also very elated that we were there as E's foster parents supporting her and fighting for her. She is worth the fight in every single way. Every. Single. Way.

E's Mom is still no where to be found. She has been in contact with her Dad, but presents no interest in trying to get her children back. She has missed numerous visits, court hearings and other important meetings. It's sad. Very sad. I pray a lot for her.

Towards the end of the meeting, the "head" of the board pointed to our Case Manager and said:

"Mom obviously has no interest or desire to get her children back. It's been months. There has been no contact and no effort on her part whatsoever. The board's final vote is to have the Mother's right severed as quickly as possible and get these children in permanent homes. Homes that are going to love and care for these children like they should be loved and cared for."

The next step in all of this is for the board members to present their opinions and final decision to the Judge and then the Judge will make the final call. (fingers crossed)

After the meeting was over, the head of the board came around to us, shook our hands and thanked us for all that we have done for E and for stepping up to the plate to make a difference in these kiddos lives. 

I was ecstatic after leaving the meeting and cried like a baby on the way back to work thanking God repeatedly for His faithfulness, His goodness, and His love throughout all of this. Some days I ponder and think about how we got here...how we got to this point in our lives. I never thought in a million years that I would be a foster Mother fostering these sweet wonderful children. I have been praying and praying fervently for over a year to get pregnant. I guess the Lord had different plans for our family. I am so so thankful that Josh and I listened to the promptings of the spirit to become foster parents. That we accepted this call to serve Him and love and serve His children. All of it is because of Him. All of it! I am so grateful for Him and His wonderful plan for our lives. He is so good!

I hope you will stay tuned and continue to follow us on our Foster Care journey!

What is God doing in your life? I would love to hear about it! Comment below.

 

(me) skirt: thrifted // top: thrifted // jacket: Ross // necklace: F21 // watch: Target 
(e) top and dress: thrifted // shoes: gift

What We Wore Wednesday.

 

(me) skirt: Modest Pop // top: thrifted // shoes Zulily // necklace: F21 // watch: Target // cardigan: thrifted
(e) top: Sears // leggings: Sears // shoes: gift

I'VE LEARNED.

I came across this inspiring quote from Maya Angelou  on Kelli Murray's blog and it has stuck with me for the past few days now......

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life". I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

- Maya Angelou

>>>>>>I am also loving this post from Al Fox too. 

What We Wore Wednesday

September 3rd. Today is my Dad's birthday. It's been 47 days (to be exact) since my Dad left this earth to go live with Heavenly Father. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and miss him dearly. I know in my heart that he is always nearby. As today was approaching, I wondered how difficult it would be celebrating my Dad's birthday without him here. But this morning as I got out of bed and looked at the picture of my Dad on my nightstand...I felt love, peace, comfort, and joy. The only type of love, peace, comfort and joy that He can offer. True, pure and indescribable. I am so grateful for Him. I don't know what I would do without Him and I don't ever want to have to think about that.

Last night, Josh, E and I were laying in our bed cuddling and reading books together. All of the sudden, sadness came over E's face as she bowed her head and had this pouty look.

Me: "What's wrong honey?"

E: "I miss my Grandpa...I want him."

(I pushed her little body closer to mine and hugged her tightly)

Me: "I know honey. Grandpa is in Heaven. You will see him again. I promise you that. You know you can always talk to Grandpa and tell him how much you love him and miss him right?"

Within seconds, E stood up on our bed, tilted her head back looking to the ceiling and said "Grandpa? Grandpa? Can you hear me? Are you listening? I miss you Grandpa. I love you so much Grandpa. I will see you soon! Thank you Jesus. I love you.

My heart melted at that very moment and a tears fell down my face. 

 

 

(me) dress: down east  // belt: gift // shoes thrifted // earrings: thrifted // bracelet: TJ Maxx // watch: Target
(e) top: thrifted // leggings: thrifted // shoes: gift

WHAT WE WORE WEDNESDAY.

Today is going to be one busy day! We have E's lawyer coming over at 4:30 and then our foster licensing specialist coming right after that at 5:30. I got word last week from our Case Manager that there is Foster Care Review Board Meeting scheduled for E on September 15th. The Foster Care Review Board advises the juvenile court on progress toward achieving a permanent home for a child or children involved in a dependency action and in an out-of-home placement. The well-being of these kiddos is the highest concern to these board members. I am so grateful that they can be a "voice" for them, because a huge majority of them don't have a voice. They are placed in a home with people that they have never met before and just have to adjust. I am so thankful that E has been placed with us and that she is adjusting and growing in our home with us. I am so thankful that Josh and I accepted God's calling for us to love and care for His children. Our journey so far doesn't have any words to describe it. We have been taught so much and have learned so many things along the way. Our faith has grown tremendously and we have learned what it means to really truly trust God. Fostering has been one of the best experiences of my life and I cannot wait to see what God has planned for E and for our family. Sometimes I get this feeling like I wish I could help out more and do more. I wish that I had a humongous 20 bedroom home that I could fill with these precious little kiddos...but I don't...and that's okay. Whenever I feel this way, I always hear a sweet whisper from God telling me that I am doing enough..that I am doing more than enough and that I am changing lives one child at a time. God's surprises and His blessings are always so wonderful!  I love my God so much. He is so good, so faithful, so loving and so merciful. I don't know what I would do without Him in my life. Please keep E and our family in your prayers during this time of changes and transitioning. Thank you!

(me) skirt: Nordstrom Rack // shoes: Zulily // purse: TJ Maxx // shirt: thrifted // 

sunglasses: TJ Maxx // earrings: Chicos // watch: Target // bracelet: Ettika

(e) top: thrifted // skirt: thrifted // shoes: Payless // hairclip: Dollar Tree