Stay At Home Mommy

On Monday I put my two weeks in at work. While I am sad to leave, I am feeling very thankful that I will have the opportunity to stay at home with my babies. It's such a huge blessing and its everything I have ever wanted. All I want to do is cuddle and love all over them! God is so faithful and really does answers prayers! 

Double Blessing

We are so happy to announce that this precious little girl that we have been fostering since April of last year is finally part of our forever family!! Her court date was on June 8th at 3 p.m. and then just 4 hours later baby Olivia made her debut into this world also. Two wonderful blessings in just one day!! It will definitely be a day that we will never forget. The miracles of God are nothing short of amazing! He is so good! Our hearts are so overwhelmed with gratitude and love. We love this little family of ours more than anything. ❤ {birth story to follow soon}

Motherhood

Motherhood is more than just a stage-its a lifelong gift and calling from God. With it He gives us hearts that love more deeply, hands that serve tirelessly, and vision to see His blossoming image in the precious entrusted to our care.

Thoughts For Thursday-Getting to Know God

There was a time in my life when I struggled with all types of fears and insecurities, constantly worried about the future, my job, my family, money, and what my purpose in life really was. Needless to say, I wasn't enjoying my life. I was miserable.

However, over time, the Lord helped me to change…and He helped me understand an important key to truly enjoying life. It all begins with what the apostle Paul says in Philippians 3:10…something I believe we should all pray regularly…

"That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His suffering, being made comfortable unto His death"

I know that when we get to know God—really know Him—it fills us with hope and confidence because we realize He’s greater than any situation we will ever encounter. Understanding God’s character and incredible love for us allows us to relax and trust Him in ever single area of our lives.

I have found that we can learn so much about the Lord by examining His many names found in the Bible. Each one reveals such a unique aspect of His character along with a very specific promise for our lives.

The Bible says He is Jehovah Jireh, which means “Your Provider.” He’s Jehovah Rapha, “Your Healer,” and Jehovah Shalom, “Your Peace.” 

The Lord is also referred to as Jehovah Nissi, “The Lord Our Banner.” This means He is our “victory”: We can expect God to help us win our battles over sin, addictive habits, pain from the past, and anything else that stands in the way of His wonderful plan for our lives.

It is Satan that wants us to think about all the things we can’t do. He wants us to compare ourselves to others and focus on our weaknesses. However, when the Lord looks at us, He sees our ultimate potential! We can do anything through Him. He wants us to focus on how much we can do; He wants us to lean on His strength and ability to do the great things He has planned for us.

Maybe right now the Lord is asking you to step out in an area that seems impossible, or you’re facing an issue that seems way too big to handle. Step out in faith, trust in Him and let Him handle it. He always knows what's best for us better than we know what is best for ourselves.

Whatever it may be, I want you to know that you’re in a great place for a miracle and abundant blessings. The God of all the universe is on your side, and He never loses a battle!

I encourage you to get to know God more and more each day. Read and study your scriptures. Talk to the Lord like He’s your best friend and ask Him to reveal His love and character to you in a greater way.

Because when you get to know Him—really know Him—it releases new hope and confidence in the One who can change every single area of your life.

My Cup Runneth Over

I cannot find the words to express how grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for His unfailing love, His goodness and His faithfulness. Yesterday E's Mom's rights were terminated and we can now move towards the adoption process so that she can be a part of our forever family!!! I wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your thoughts and prayers on behalf of E and our family. It really means so much to us. 

First Ultrasound

On Wednesday we had our first ultrasound. As I saw these pictures of our little one up on the screen, I was in completely awe. Speechless to say nonetheless.  I feel so blessed and blown away by God's grace.....by His awesomeness. I am awestruck by His constant hand in my life and by this little miracle that is growing inside of me. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

-Psalm 139:13 

I'm Not Disappointed

December 9th. That is court date that is set for severance of E's Mom's rights. Believe me when I say that am counting down the days until that exact date...because I am. I have been waiting for her to be ours forever. I was ready from the moment that she walked through our door. Yesterday we had an unexpected hearing for E. The hearing was scheduled for her younger sister and brother. Last minute, (late last week) we heard about this hearing and our Case Manager told us that it would be great if we could be there, including E. She was going to attempt to present something called a "drive by severance" to the Judge. This normally happens when there are other siblings involved and each sibling has a different court date for possible severance or reunification with their parents. They present this drive by severance to the Judge in hopes that if they are already going to do severance on the other siblings then why wait for the other child or children. Our Case Manager has warned us that it might happen and it might not so not to get our hopes up.

When we arrived at the court house with E, we walked in praying for God's will and His perfect timing. As we approached the courtroom to wait to enter, there was a man standing walking back and forth staring out the window. First glance I knew he was E's brother's Dad. He glanced over at us, especially E a few times then finally walked over to us.

"Is that E?"

"Yes it is. My Husband and I are her foster parents."

Tears came to his eyes. "Last time I saw her was when she was only 7 or 8 months old and her Mom was trying to give her away to her friend because she didn't want her anymore. I actually have quite a few baby pictures of her if you would like to have them?"

"Of course I would! That would be awesome. Thank you so much. Hey....I wish you the best of luck today and my Husband and I really respect the right decision that you have made to step up to the plate and care for your son. That will mean so much to him and he needs you more than ever right now."

We were finally called into the courtroom. As I sat down in between Josh and E, I really thought about why we were there. We were there to support E, to be a voice for her and to fight for her until the end no matter what the outcome may be. I cannot tell you how good that felt. Even thinking about it now gives me goose bumps all over.

The hearing only lasted about 30 minutes. It was interesting to hear the other cases for E's brother and sister. Towards the end, the Judge asked:

 "Are the foster parents of E in the courtroom right now?"

"Yes your honor" as Josh and I raised our hands.

"I just want to first of all thank you for all that you are doing for this child and want to ask you if there is anything that we can do or if there is any kind of statement that you would like to express here today"

I immediately spoke up "Yes your honor I would like to say a few words. I just want to let you know that E has been in our home since April. She is such a special little girl in so many ways and such a joy to have in our home. She has grown and thrived tremendously and we love her so much"

"Thank you for your statement and thank you so much for taking the time to be here."

I could feel the hearing coming to an end and my gut was telling me that it wasn't going to happen...which it didn't. Instead of feelings of disappointment, I had feelings of peace and hope knowing that this is all in God's hands and in His perfect timing. I think it was a huge blessing and an advantage for us to just be able to be there in the first place. Being able to make a connection with E's brother's Dad, having the Judge see us there and being able to speak on behalf of E.

26 days today until December 9th! We are pushing forward with faith and hope in our God that is WAY bigger than the foster care system! 

Wish us luck!

Let Your Light Shine: Hope Is Never Lost

In Acts 27, there’s a great story about the apostle Paul. He was travelling by ship with some people when a violent wind came bursting down from the island. For a few days they were caught in the storm, and at one point it was so fierce, they were dangerously tossed about by the violence of the storm and had to throw the ship’s equipment overboard. They ended up without food, hungry, stranded – seemingly without any hope.

In that moment, Paul stood in the midst of the survivors and said to them, “I beg you to be in good spirits and take heart, for there will be no loss of life among you…” He then shared that an angel of God told him this, and said (verse 25), “So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will be exactly as it was told me.”

How could Paul, in the middle of this horrible storm, ask the people to “be in good spirits” and have a good attitude? Because he believed in his heart—without a doubt—“that it will be exactly as it was told me.” I love that! It’s a great picture of the power of faith in God when all hope seems lost. And we can have the very same faith that Paul had if we will overcome doubt.

I love this quote from President Holland (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)

"Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there. Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. 

Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead." 

We all face storms in life. Some are more difficult than others, but we all go through trials and tribulation. That’s why we have the gift of faith. Ephesians 6:16 calls it the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Doubt is a type of “flaming arrow” that the enemy uses to attack our faith.

We usually experience doubt after we’ve made a decision. James 1:6, says having doubt is like being tossed about like the wind, which feels like you’re trying to go in two different directions at the same time. It’s miserable to be torn between two places, not able to decide what you really believe. It’s in those moments we have to choose whether we are going to believe God or the enemy…God or our feelings…God or what people tell us…God or our circumstances…

In James 1:5 that when we need wisdom, we can go to God, ask Him for it, and He will give it to us liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding. Even with all our imperfections, God will be faithful to us and give us what we need if we will ask Him for help. He loves us and wants to help and bless us because He is faithful! And we never have to doubt that.

I’ve learned through my own relationship with God that He’s not expecting me to be perfect; He wants me to do my best to be in His will and take steps of faith as He leads me and the promptings He speaks to my heart. Remember.....He wants us to put our confidence in Him. 

With putting God first and having confidence in Him, we can be bold in faith and overcome every attack of doubt during the storms of life.

I Am a Mormon Monday: Meet Stephanie

About me: 

I drink too much Coke, drive a little too fast, get way too involved in my OCD tenancies... why? Because I work full time and go to school with six kids, two dogs, and a fish. They call me mom, I call them The Circus.  You can just call me Steph.

Why am I Mormon? 

Technically speaking you could say I was raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon) but I'm not Mormon because my parents told me to be.  My parents didn't attend church regularly and didn't expect me to either.  But even as a child of 8 years old I knew that going to church was something I needed and loved to do. So I would go to church by myself.  The church house was close enough for me to walk to, and I lived near my grandparents so I was able to sit with them at church on most Sundays.  As the years passed my grandparents grew ill and weren't always able to attend church.  On those Sundays in my teenage years I still went to church by myself, but I never felt alone. The gospel of Jesus Christ has always rung true to my heart and soul and I can honestly say I live it, not because anyone has ever told me I had to, because growing up the choice was always optional and always mine, but because of my own accord and convictions that it is the true gospel of Jesus Christ. And that's something that has always been with me.

What is hope and what do I hope for?

Hope is the idea that life is good, solid, and okay.  Even when it doesn't feel like it at the moment.  Hope is knowing that whatever it is we face in this life, it is worth it. Life gets difficult, but in the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, we can "hope on."  ( https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng )  Doctrine and Covenants 45:62 says, "For verily I say unto you, that great things await you;" I hope for that.

How do I live my faith?

I would hope I live my faith with real intent.  Marjorie Pay Hinckley summed it up perfectly when she said, “I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

You can find out more about me here:

Blog: http://www.circusofmine.blogspot.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/thecircus6

Or you can also find me here:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/circusofmine.blogspot

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/thecircus6

Twitter: www.twitter.com/thecircus6

Thank you, Kim, my heart is full.
...............................................................................................................


If you are interested in being apart of the I Am a Mormon Monday series on Diary of a Brown Eyed Girl, send me an email and I will fill you in on all the details.  Email: bostonksox@gmail.com 

Deep Waters.

You and I were created to do things in deep waters. We’re not supposed to have little dreams or little plans. We’re supposed to get out there and have BIG dreams. We are supposed to go out into the deep and see all the things God has in store for us. When we are out in the deep waters, we can’t touch the ground. We can’t see the shoreline, and at times, it may get a little rocky. We may not always see how things are going to work out and it may be hard..really hard.Sometimes God brings us to the deep waters to help us grow, to strengthen us, and to draw us closer to Him. I want you to know that He is with you....He is always with you and He knows there are deep things on the inside of you. When you are in those deep waters, you are not alone. God is with you, and He’s causing those deep things inside of you for a reason that only He may know. If you feel like you are out in deep waters today, or if you feel like you are overwhelmed, remember, you are in the right place and God is with you. I promise you will see the wonders of God in the deep! Trust Him! He is faithful! 

What We Wore Wednesday and a Foster Care Update

On Monday, we got the opportunity to attend a Foster Care Review Board Meeting for E. 

A Foster Care Review Board Meeting advises the juvenile court on progress toward achieving a permanent home for a child or children involved in a dependency action and in an out-of-home placement. There are 5 volunteer board members. The well-being of these children is the highest concern to these board members. I am so grateful to them for the time and effort they put into insuring that each child can find a forever home.

I am also grateful that Josh and I as foster parents where able to be there to be a voice for E. To express our concerns, our opinions and also tell them how great E is doing in our home and just how much we love and adore her. They asked us if we would have any interest in adopting her. Josh and I both shook our heads right away at the same time and said most definitely!

Our Case Manager also showed up to the meeting too which was a HUGE blessing for us, because she bragged and bragged to the board about Josh and I and also told them about how E is growing and thriving in our home, how happy she really is and how she calls Josh "Daddy" and me "Mommy". She called our home the perfect home and expressed that she wishes that we could take in more children to love and care for. She express to the board that she has been a Case Manager for a long time and that she believes that there is a forever home out there for each child.

The board was also very elated that we were there as E's foster parents supporting her and fighting for her. She is worth the fight in every single way. Every. Single. Way.

E's Mom is still no where to be found. She has been in contact with her Dad, but presents no interest in trying to get her children back. She has missed numerous visits, court hearings and other important meetings. It's sad. Very sad. I pray a lot for her.

Towards the end of the meeting, the "head" of the board pointed to our Case Manager and said:

"Mom obviously has no interest or desire to get her children back. It's been months. There has been no contact and no effort on her part whatsoever. The board's final vote is to have the Mother's right severed as quickly as possible and get these children in permanent homes. Homes that are going to love and care for these children like they should be loved and cared for."

The next step in all of this is for the board members to present their opinions and final decision to the Judge and then the Judge will make the final call. (fingers crossed)

After the meeting was over, the head of the board came around to us, shook our hands and thanked us for all that we have done for E and for stepping up to the plate to make a difference in these kiddos lives. 

I was ecstatic after leaving the meeting and cried like a baby on the way back to work thanking God repeatedly for His faithfulness, His goodness, and His love throughout all of this. Some days I ponder and think about how we got here...how we got to this point in our lives. I never thought in a million years that I would be a foster Mother fostering these sweet wonderful children. I have been praying and praying fervently for over a year to get pregnant. I guess the Lord had different plans for our family. I am so so thankful that Josh and I listened to the promptings of the spirit to become foster parents. That we accepted this call to serve Him and love and serve His children. All of it is because of Him. All of it! I am so grateful for Him and His wonderful plan for our lives. He is so good!

I hope you will stay tuned and continue to follow us on our Foster Care journey!

What is God doing in your life? I would love to hear about it! Comment below.

 

(me) skirt: thrifted // top: thrifted // jacket: Ross // necklace: F21 // watch: Target 
(e) top and dress: thrifted // shoes: gift

Sunday Inspiration: The Hope of God's Light

Many of us have wondered if God knows us or if He even exists. Todd was someone who made fun of people who thought God was real, and he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get an immediate answer to a prayer. But could God be giving us small but obvious answers? And how patient do we need to be to get those answers? 

SOME DAYS.

SAFE HARBOR.

“Be assured that there is a safe harbor. You can find peace amidst the storms that threaten you. Your Heavenly Father—who knows when even a sparrow falls—knows of your heartache and suffering. He loves you and wants the best for you. Never doubt this. While He allows all of us to make choices that may not always be for our own or even others’ well-being, and while He does not always intervene in the course of events, He has promised the faithful peace even in their trials and tribulations.”

-Joseph B. Wirthlin

Jesus comforts us when He said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not 

as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” 

Draw close to the Lord Jesus Christ. He bears a special love for all those who suffer. He is 

the Son of God, an eternal king. In His mortal ministry He loved them and blessed them. His every word 

was one of compassion and encouragement. To the sick, He brought a healing balm. Those who yearned for hope, who yearned for a caring touch, received it from the hand of the King of Kings, the Creator of ocean, earth, and sky. Don't forget that you are stronger than you think. Your Heavenly Father, the Lord and Master of the universe, is your Creator. When I think of it, it makes my heart leap for joy. Our spirits are eternal, and eternal spirits have immeasurable capacity! Our Father in Heaven does not wish us to cower.

 He does not want us to wallow in our misery. He expects us to square our shoulders, roll up our sleeves, and overcome our challenges. As we overcome adversity in our lives, we will become stronger. Then we will be better able to help others—those who are working, in their turn, to find that safe harbor from the storms that rage about them. When we feel tossed by the storms of life and when the waves rise and the winds howl, on these occasions it would be natural for us to cry in our hearts, “Master, carest thou not that I perish?” When these times come, think back upon that day when the Savior awakened in the stern of the ship, rose up and rebuked the storm. “Peace, be still,” He said. At times we may be tempted to think the Savior is oblivious to our trials. In fact, the reverse is true; it is we who need to be awakened in our hearts to His teachings. Let us use our ingenuity, our strength, and our might to resolve our challenges. Lets do all we can do and then leave the rest to the Lord. 

In our own storms in life the Savior is our solace and our sanctuary. If we seek peace, we must come unto Him. He Himself spoke this eternal truth when He said, “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” When our souls are anchored in the safe harbor of the Savior, we can proclaim as did Paul: “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.” -2 Corinthians 4:8

Draw close to the Lord Jesus Christ. Be of good cheer. 

Keep the faith. Doubt not. The storms will one day be stilled. 

MY DAD'S FUNERAL

Just this past Saturday we celebrated my Dad's life. It was very emotional, beautiful and the Spirit was so incredibly powerful. I know my Dad would have been so proud and I know he was smiling down on all of us from up above. I have felt so much peace and comfort this past week knowing that my Dad has returned back home to our wonderful God who gave him life. I know he is now without pain and he is not suffering anymore. As much as I would love for him to still be here, I know deep in my heart that he is better off where he is at right now. I am so grateful for the Gospel and the Atonement of Jesus Christ who suffered it so that we could live once again and be able to experience never-ending happiness. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have and the knowledge that I know to be true with every fiber of my being. The veil is thin, heaven is real and families are forever! How great is the plan of our God! I miss you so much Daddy and I know I will get to see you again and get to spend eternity being right by your side. 
*I want to shout out a very special thank you to my best friend, Paola (she is in the 11th picture down) who snapped all of these great photos and went over above and beyond with decorating and making sure things ran smoothly. Thank you so much my gorgeous friend. So grateful for you!! I love you to pieces!