MY DAD'S FUNERAL

Just this past Saturday we celebrated my Dad's life. It was very emotional, beautiful and the Spirit was so incredibly powerful. I know my Dad would have been so proud and I know he was smiling down on all of us from up above. I have felt so much peace and comfort this past week knowing that my Dad has returned back home to our wonderful God who gave him life. I know he is now without pain and he is not suffering anymore. As much as I would love for him to still be here, I know deep in my heart that he is better off where he is at right now. I am so grateful for the Gospel and the Atonement of Jesus Christ who suffered it so that we could live once again and be able to experience never-ending happiness. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have and the knowledge that I know to be true with every fiber of my being. The veil is thin, heaven is real and families are forever! How great is the plan of our God! I miss you so much Daddy and I know I will get to see you again and get to spend eternity being right by your side. 
*I want to shout out a very special thank you to my best friend, Paola (she is in the 11th picture down) who snapped all of these great photos and went over above and beyond with decorating and making sure things ran smoothly. Thank you so much my gorgeous friend. So grateful for you!! I love you to pieces!

  

DADS EULOGY

My Dad passed away 10 days ago. I tossed around the idea of sharing my Dad's eulogy on this little space of mine. Its seems so personal, but I have shared so much on here already and I want this space to be something to look back on and remember all the good times and bad times. I want this space to tell my story. God's story.

Good morning.  First off..I would like to say thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being here today.  I know a lot of you have travelled from near & far to show your love, respect and support. I want you all to know that means the world to my family and I…..so thank you. It is such a healing gift to be surrounded by wonderful friends and family who care so much. Your friendship, your love and your support allow us to know that my Dad will be nearby us always and forever.

Today I want to give thanks and celebrate the life of a wonderful man that I am so very proud to call my Dad. To be honest it feels odd to be standing up here today. I never thought or wanted this day to ever come, but as I am standing here…. I realize just how very fortunate I am to have been blessed with such an amazing Dad. 

This past week has been a very difficult one for all of us to say the least. I feel like a huge piece of me is missing. I feel as if my entire world has been turned upside down.  I had so much trouble coming up with what I wanted to say today to honor my Dad and to express just how much he meant to me. I wanted it to be nothing but perfect.  I wanted to give him my very best…because he deserved nothing but the very best. I kept telling myself, “How do I give a short speech about my Dad who has served as the narrator throughout my entire life?” In the hours and days since my Dad’s passing, I felt as if I had lost all my words. I suppose it is because he was the person that provided me with so many of them. So many times over the past few days, as I have struggled and cried I have thought, I should go talk to my Dad. I need a big hug from my Dad to make everything feel better and help me see this all the right way. He was good at that and I loved him for that. Helping me to see things right side up.

If there was anyone who possessed all the best qualities of a great person, it was my Dad. He was the light of my life. My hero. My everything. He was a good and accomplished man with such a generous heart. I loved seeing him smile and laugh, it brought so much joy to me and would make my heart smile every time. He was so funny and had such a great sense of humor. If he could find anything to joke about, he would.

If there was just one thing I could tell you about my Dad, it was that he loved my brother and I more than anything in this entire world. In his eyes, we were the light of his life. His everything.  When anyone would ever ask about my brother and I, his face would light up with so much joy that it could fill a room of complete darkness. He loved bragging about us and how much we meant to him. He could tell story after story and would always say “I have been so blessed with two wonderful kids. They mean the world to me. I don’t need anything else but them.”

My Dad’s passion was sailing. He was good at it. Really good at it. My Mom and my Dad used to own a really nice sailboat when we lived on the East Coast and they used to go sailing all the time. He loved being out on the water. I remember when my Dad was living in California and I went to visit him for a few days. He took me down to the Marina one morning. As we were walking along looking at all the boats that were there, my Dad stopped at one sailboat and said “this one is my favorite, I’m going to get a boat just like this one. I’m going to hop on it really quick and see if I can see what the cabin looks like underneath.” I looked at him and said “Dad! You can’t get on that boat! It’s not yours.” “Oh sure I can” he said…”It will just take a quick second.” He hopped on the boat and started looking around as I am looking around making sure the owner to this boat doesn’t show up and wonder what he’s doing on his boat. Once he was done looking at the cabin underneath, he stood up and looked at me and said “Well come on, let’s go sailing…..this is my boat.” That was my first time sailing and I loved it. My Dad and I spent the entire day out on the water.

As I look around at all these pictures of my Dad, I see someone who is handsome, someone who is strong, someone who is smart, someone who is determined, and someone who has always been devoted. My Dad absolutely hated taking pictures. I can just imagine what he is saying right now “You know I hate taking pictures and here you go enlarging a bunch of them to 20x30 for everyone to see!!” Sorry Daddy.

I could stand here and tell you so many stories and memories that I have of my Dad, but that would take all day. I can tell you that some of my greatest memories and blessings were when Josh and I took my Dad into our home to care for him while he was really sick. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to do that for him and I know that my Dad is eternally grateful for it too. He lived with us for about a year until he passed away early Saturday morning. Within that year we laughed, we cried, we fought and we all had a great time together. Looking back, one of the greatest things I enjoyed most was just having my Dad there every single day. Being able to just walk into his room whenever I wanted to talk to him, laugh with him and give him a kiss goodnight. A little over a month ago, my sweet Husband bought this book for my Dad and I to fill out together. It’s a journal where we recorded all of his unique experiences and memories. It covers all aspects of life (childhood, adolescence, adulthood, faith, career, and parenthood). Every night after putting Esperanza to bed, I would go into his room and we would spend ½ hour to an hour filling this book out together. One night I was really tired and after a few questions I told my Dad we would stop there and pick it back up again the next night. He turned to look at me and said “Do you have to go to bed right now? Can we just do a few more please? I really enjoy doing this with you.” I now have this journal….this treasure….a piece of my Dad that I hold so dear to my heart and will be able to keep forever to look back on whenever I want and be able to show it to our children.

While living in our home, my Dad blessed our lives in more ways than he will ever know. Thank you Dad for being the most incredible Father that a girl could ever ask for. Thank you for always making sure that I knew I was loved each and every day. You always used to say that you were so lucky to have us in your life…..but you were so wrong Dad. We were the lucky ones. Out of all the Father’s in the world-we were blessed with YOU.  Thank you Dad for being you. Right now I don’t have the words to express just how much I miss you and how much I love. I will always miss you and you will never be forgotten, but I know you are in a better place now. You are now without pain and you are not suffering and knowing that brings me peace and comfort and makes the healing process a lot easier. This parting is not forever Dad. I look forward with a bright hope and faith to that day when I will get to see you and won’t have to ever let go of you ever again but will get to spend eternity with you.  What a glorious day that will be when I will get to see you face to face! This is not goodbye….but I will see you soon!  I love you Daddy.

FINDING JOY IN THE JOURNEY LINK UP.

Dress from eshakti
"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the  changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." -Maya Angelou

I really love butterflies! I find them to be some of the most remarkable creatures on the planet. They are such beautiful winged insects whose life cycle carries so much meaning and symbolism to the growth process of being a Christian. Many of us have experienced our own “metamorphosis”, as we become new creatures in Christ and become one with Him. Another thing that is also similar, is that the transformation often occurs in stages. Sometimes these stages of life for a butterfly may be uncomfortable and even painful, but in the end a beautiful butterfly emerges, souring high and rising above all of the layers that it had to shed along the journey. As we come to Jesus our life is renewed through the healing and life changing love of God, because of what Jesus has done for us. Just as the caterpillar transforms into a beautiful butterfly, shedding off the old, we too can be like a butterfly. It won't be without pain and it may not be an easy process, but as we battle against the old and keep our focus on the Savior, He will give us the strength to do so, through His Atonement. 

‘Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength.’ (1 Corinthians 15:43) Our testimony of what God has done for us, brings Him glory and honor, it’s part of our story. His story. We can learn so much in our times of darkness. His light is always there guiding us if we look to Him. By laying down our lives and following Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we can be free in Him; we can be a new creation in Him. How wonderful! How grateful I am that I have been made new in Him, renewed daily in His presence. I love how God speaks to us through His creation.  I will always delight in the beauty of a butterfly.

LINK UP HERE

"MAMA......I WANT MY JESUS"

For all you Mama's out there, I am sure that you have all had those scary Mommy moments..maybe many of them. Those moments when something happens to your child and you instantly freeze for a couple of seconds like your mind has stopped working and you don't have a clue what to do next. I had one of those moments about two nights ago with E. 
When we got E, she had to have a lot of dental work done. Now when I say a lot of work.......I mean a lot of work...like $3,000 worth of work. It just blew my mind. She's only 4!! She had to have 4 crowns put in, work done to her two front teeth and about 2 weeks ago she has to have spacers put in on each side of her mouth. Poor girl. One thing I can say though is that she is such a champ. If you would have seen her, you would have never known that she had all that work done on her mouth. She was still so full of life, running around and playing everywhere. You know those people who just have a zest for life? Yeah..she's one of them. 

Earlier this week I picked her up from school and her teacher said that E had a bloody noise a little bit after lunch time. She said it freaked her out because one minute E was playing and the next minute she looked up at her and saw blood running out of her nose. I told her teacher I would keep an eye on it and if it continued then I would call her doctor about it. 

That night our night was like any other night. I put E to bed about 8:45pm. Close to 9pm, I hear her shouting from her room "Mama....Mama...come here please." I got up and went to her bedroom. She was standing at the doorway behind the baby gate and had a little bit of blood dripping from her nose. I picked her up, told her she was okay and brought her into our bathroom to clean her up. I sat with her for a few minutes to make sure she was okay and then I put her back into bed. Not even 20 minutes later I hear again"Mama....Mama...come here please" I got up and went to her bedroom once again. 

As I walked down the hallway, I could see her standing in the doorway again. As I got closer and looked at her, she had blood covered all around her mouth, on her shirt and on her hands. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said "Mama...look" as she pointed down to her shirt scared. “It’s okay sweetheart, Mommy will make you feel all better…come here honey.” I picked her up and once again and brought her back into our bathroom the second time around. I sat her up on our counter as I wiped her bloody nose, the blood around her mouth and on her hands. I got a cup and filled it up with some water and had her rinse all the blood out of her mouth. Josh stood by her side just rubbing her arm reassuring her that everything would be ok. “I don’t know why this is happening or where all the blood is coming from”, I said to Josh as we looked at each other confused. I then thought and said to E “Honey open up your mouth really wide for Mommy okay?” She turned to me and opened up her mouth so I could take a look inside. As she opened her mouth, there was a pool of blood. I had her rinse with water for a second time then had her open wide again. As I looked the second time around, I noticed a small pool of blood in the middle of her spacer where they pulled a tooth. I soaked it up with some gauze and then looked again. “Josh look honey..this is where all the blood is coming from, she must of somehow punctured the gum and made it bleed.” Josh ran and got more gauze out of our first aid kit and had her bite down on it to soak up some to the blood. Josh gave her a kiss on her cheek said “I love you”, picked her up and carried her to our bed.

 On my nightstand, I have a picture of Jesus Christ (the one above). She rolled over and picked up the picture and said “Mama..I want my Jesus…I want my Jesus..I want my Jesus", she said over and over again as she stared at His picture. That was a moment that I will never forget and will always be ingrained in my mind. It was one of the sweetest, tender moments I have experienced. She recognized that she needed Jesus right then because she was hurt and feeling sad. I stood there as I listened to her talking to his picture and tears flooded my eyes. For the next hour, all three of us snuggled up in bed together. We ended up changing the gauze two more times before it stopped bleeding completely. As I laid there holding my sweet Husband’s hand and with E nestled right in between us, I closed my eyes and felt overwhelmed with a spirit of gratitude thanking Heavenly Father for blessing me with such a wonderful Husband and a sweet little girl to join our family at this time. 
God is so faithful, so merciful, so loving and so kind. He is so good!

*I ended up calling her dentist the next day and he informed me that she must have punctured the gum pretty bad to make it bleed the way it did. We are going to keep a close watch on her and he said if it happens again soon, to bring her in so he can see her.

BRAZILIAN CHICKEN STROGANOFF.

I don't know if you knew, but my Husband served a full time mission in El Salvador, Brazil for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He lived there for 2 years spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ to thousands of people. He said he came home a different person. His mission changed him in so many wonderful ways and taught him so much.  He came home feeling very grateful for what he had. In Brazil, most of the families (which are fairly large) live in tiny homes (about the size of my living room and kitchen combined) with no air conditioning and live mostly off of rice and beans. Josh tells me that there is one thing he will never forget and will always be ingrained in his mind forever. "These people has so little, but they were the happiest people I had ever met in my entire life. I will never forget the experiences I had there and all the wonderful people that I met. My mission was definitely an experience of a lifetime! There are many times I think back on my mission and even talk to some of the people I met and I still get teary eyed til this day." I love listening to Josh tell me stories about his mission. Stories about his experiences, trials, and miracles that he witnessed time and time again. One of my favorite things is listening to him speak fluent Portuguese. Boy does it get my blood pumping! Let me tell you! He learned the language in less than two months before going on his mission (Praise God!)

I don't know if you knew either, but Josh is quite the chef. It seems like he can take anything, mix it all together and wallah it tastes amazing! Another great part from his mission was all the different foods that he got to try and learn how to make. Last night when I got home from work, he was making Brazilian Chicken Stroganoff (oh my yummm!). I made it about a month ago to surprise him, but after tasting his last night..his was so much better! This stroganoff is a delicious variation of the traditional stroganoff made here in the United States but it tastes so much better in my opinion. See the recipe below:


Brazilian Chicken Stroganoff 

2 lbs beef or 2 lbs chicken fillets, cut into 1 inch pieces

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 onion, chopped, divided

salt

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon oregano

1/2 cup dry white wine

2 tablespoons oil

1/2 lb cultivated white mushroom, sliced

2 -3 tablespoons ketchup

1 1/2 tablespoons mild mustard, i would use dijon

1/2 cup sour cream

Directions:
Put the meat/chicken into a bowl with garlic, half the onion, salt, nutmeg, oregano and wine.
Heat the oil and saute the remaining onion and mushrooms for a few minutes 
Add the meat/chicken and marinade to the pan and cook.
Add the ketchup and mustard.
If it looks a bit dry, add a few tablespoons of water and cook a little longer.
When the meat is cooked, add the sour cream and reheat gently-DO NOT BOIL.
Serve with steamed white rice.

DEAR E.

Dear E. This past week Daddy and I have talked about how grateful we are to still have you in our lives. Last week was a scary one for us in the least. You were supposed to be taken away from us to go live with your Grandpa in Mesa. The call that we got was completely unexpected. I do not have the words to express to you just how happy we were when CPS told us you would be staying with us longer. Daddy and I hugged, cried and thanked God for such a wonderful blessing. God had heard our prayers and He answered...like I knew He would....like He does every single time. If you ever get the chance to read this, I want you to know that every day spent with you makes me so happy. Each day with you is such a gift. These moments with you are greater than any treasure on earth. I cherish each moment that I have with you like it might be the last....because one day it might just be the last. I feel like the luckiest Mama in the world to have you as apart of our family right now. Every night when I hold you, as you kiss my cheek a gazillon times and say "Mama..I love you THIS much!" with your hands outstretched makes me melt all over. I wish I could freeze these moments in time and hold onto you forever and never let you go. I thank God for you everyday. I thank Him that He placed such a special little girl in our lives..a little girl who is so full of life and full of love. I couldn't have asked for more. I wish you knew the amount of joy and happiness that you have brought.

I want you to know that your Heavenly Father loves you with an infinite amount of love, a love so pure, so holy, and so indescribable. Never question His love for you. His love is always there. The love that He has for specifically you will never waiver. His love for you will never dim. He is there. He is always there whenever you need Him, even at times when you don't feel like He is. He is there fully and completely. Talk to him, confide in him, and I promise you that you will feel of His love and grace in your life. God has created you to be you and only you. You are special. You are a wonderful daughter of God (a Queen) and He is your King! Never forget that you came to earth as a child of a divine Father, with something of divinity in your very makeup. The Lord didn't send you here to fall or fail. He did not give you this life to waste it. He bestowed upon you the gift of mortality that you might gain experience-positive, wonderful, purposeful experience-that will eventually lead you to life eternal. 

I want you to know that life can sometimes be hard...sometimes really hard, but its so beautiful in so many ways. Trust Him with all your heart and allow Him to show you just how great He is. You alone are enough. Never forget that. Don't ever forget who's hands you are in. His ways and His will is always better than our own, even when sometimes we may think that we have all the answers. We don't. He does. Seek for Him. Seek for His will daily in your life and I promise you that you will be guided by the spirit to do the things that He would have you do and that you will be blessed. Embrace all the many opportunities that come your way, especially the ones that you didn't initially in-vision for yourself. 

I want you to know just how much I love you baby girl. I will always love you no matter what happens. You are one of things that has given me life. You have taught me so much. You have made me feel a kind of love that I have never felt before. You make me want to be better. You make me want to be brave. You make me want to soar above and beyond what may seem impossible. I love you my little monkey!

Love, Mama.

YOU SURROUND ME.

You're in the sun and in the rain and in the waves upon the sea. You're in the wind and in the sand and in the grass beneath my feet. You're in the rocks and in the leaves and every branch on every tree. You are the joy, you are the pain, you are the hope that carries me. You surround me Lord!

FINDING JOY IN THE JOURNEY LINK UP.

Today is the start of a new link up that I have created. 

Here's what I came up with: Finding Joy in the Journey Link up

How it works: Every week (on Friday), I will share with you some thoughts that are on 

my heart. Good things, trials, struggles, sorrows, heartache and whatever the spirit is 

leading me to write on this little space of mine! I hope and pray that you will do the same :)

Each week we can take the time to inspire, encourage, lift up one another as we all try and find joy in the journey! Will you join me?

Jesus never said that this life would be easy. Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are also changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, etc. But most of the changes that happen in our lives take place subtly and slowly. Time never stands still, it must steadily march on, and with the marching comes the changes that we must face. Sometimes our lives can take unexpected turns filled with heartache, sorrow, confusion, depression and difficulty. Sometimes it may seem hard to understand in the midst of trials how to feel and experience joy. Sometimes it may seem as if our whole world is falling apart around us and we are just standing still. Jesus has promised us that we can experience joy in the journey. Finding joy in the journey is the quest of our lives.  That joy that Jesus has promised us is available if we continue to be faithful and keep our eyes always on Jesus. I believe that some of the greatest lessons that we learn, are lessons that help us distinguish between what is really important and what is not. Despite all the changes which come into our lives, lets try and fill our days, as much as we can with those things that matter most. Whatever you are facing right now in your life, there is joy that awaits you and joy that can be found in the midst of your trials. It may feel like your darkest night, but God has a divine plan and purpose for your life! Let's relish life as we live it, trust in God and find joy in the journey! Link up your posts below!

LINK UP HERE!

WITH GOD ON YOUR SIDE WISHES REALLY DO COME TRUE.

The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions to say the least. I have doubted my faith and I have felt weak, but after much prayer, God has brought me to a place where He has given me an incredible amount of peace with everything, knowing that He has it all under control. I feel content and I know that is because of Him. He heals. He comforts. He strengthens. He succors. He understands completely. I handed it all over to Him and told Him that I trusted whatever the outcome would be and would trust that He has a plan that is so wonderful beyond my imagination. I have found in my life through my struggles and trials that when I decide to let go and trust in God completely, that's when He seems to move and bless. Yesterday we sat by our phones waiting for the call from our CPS worker to tell us when E would be leaving this week. The call finally came through and the news we heard was something that we were not expecting at all. Our prayers had been answered and I thanked God over and over and over again!    Right now E's older sister is with their maternal Grandpa and his newly married wife. They have had her sister for close to two weeks and informed CPS that they cannot handle having two kids right now, that its too much as it is with her sister and can't imagine having to take care of the both of them. The Grandpa also told CPS about a friend of E's Mother that took care of E when she was younger and they were hoping to eventually adopt her, then E's Mother came back into the picture and said that she wanted E back. Our CPS worker told us that the decision was up to us. Right now CPS has no contact with her Mother and can't even get in touch with her at all. Our worker told us that we have two options. We can either keep E or give her up to her Mother's friend. We were confused as to why that would even be an option, because she is so happy living with us. Why move her again? We of course made the decision to keep her. The time that she will stay with us is unknown and up in the air. Right now she will be with us until the Grandpa decides to take her or if and when she can go back to be with her Mom. So from here on out, we are just going to take it day by day and continue to trust God because He knows exactly what He is doing. I am so grateful for that. Grateful for a loving God that has a plan....a great plan.....a plan that is so much better than our own. I am so grateful that He has answered our prayers for E. He is so good. He is so faithful. He is always faithful. With God on your side, wishes really do come true!!   I hope that you will continue to follow our foster care journey!  

FROZEN BANANA PEANUT BUTTER BONBONS

Good morning blogging world! Hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July. We spent the day/night in Scottsdale at West World and had such a blast!
Today I would like to introduce you to my new obsession (thanks to the Hubs). Frozen Banana Peanut Butter Bon Bons. These are so easy to make and are so yummy! They are the perfect treat for summertime. If you like chocolate and bananas then you are going to love this recipe! Josh found this idea on Pinterest.
Here is what you will need...
(This makes about 24 bonbons)

3 ripe and large bananas

about 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter (I used Jiffy)

10 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips (we decided to use white chocolate wafers instead)

2 tablespoons coconut oil

1/3 cup finely chopped nut toppings

small popsicle sticks (we used toothpicks)

Peel bananas and slice into medium-thick round slices.  I sliced my bananas about 1/3-inch thick.

Spoon peanut butter into a sandwich bag.  Squirt about 1 teaspoon of peanut butter onto half of the banana slices.  Top each peanut butter topped banana with a plain banana slice and press down just slightly.  

Insert toothpicks into each banana sandwich.

Place peanut butter pops on a parchment lined baking sheet.  Place in the freezer to harden for at least 30 minutes.

While the pops harden, melt the chocolate or white chocolate and coconut oil. We placed the white chocolate wafers and coconut oil in a microwave safe bowl and placed it in the microwave until completely melted (1 minute).

Dip the slightly hardened banana sandwiches completely in the chocolate.  Return them to the parchment paper and immediately sprinkle with nut toppings.  After dipping all of the bananas, return to the freezer for at least 2 hours before serving.  Bananas will last for a week or two in the freezer.  You can also wrap them individually for storage in the freezer.