Last night before putting her to bed, Josh and I were putting new sheets on our bed that I bought yesterday. I don't know if you feel the same way, but there is something about brand new fresh sheets that makes me happy. Before putting the sheets on, E climbed up on our bed and started jumping up and down singing. Shadow (our dog) wanted to play with her, so he started running in circles all crazy around and up on the bed as she laughed hysterically. Her laugh is so contagious. It makes me smile and laugh too. She loves to be tickled all the time, which I love to do because then I can see her smile with her cute little dimples and hear her laugh and laugh and laugh. Click HERE...I'm sure she will make you smile and laugh too!
"Okay......it's time for bed love." I said as I swooped her off of our bed and into my arms squeezing her tight.
"Ouch! That hurts so bad Mama!" she cried.
"What is it honey? What hurts?" I said.
"Look! Look! Blood! Oh no!" she cried.
She had a hangnail on one of her little toes. It must have got caught on the mattress as she was jumping up and down playing with Shadow. Part of it had ripped off, but there was still a little piece that I needed to clip so it wouldn't get caught on something else again. I brought her into our bathroom and sat her down on my vanity. I opened the drawer to pull out the nail clippers. As soon as she saw them, she cried and squirmed all over the place. "No...no..it's going to hurt!" she cried. I tried my best to hold down her foot and keep it still so I could clip the rest of the hangnail. As you could imagine, I had no luck.
"E honey...it will be okay. I promise. Mommy will be very gentle."
For a moment longer she held her foot back and wouldn't let me touch it. I put down the clippers, grabbed her little hands as she clenched onto both of mine scared. I put my face close to hers, peered into her eyes and said again "E...it will be okay. I promise. Do you trust me?"
She looked back at me, let go of my hands and said in a quiet voice "Yes Mama...I trust you."
I picked the clippers back up, grabbed her little toe and clipped the rest of the nail, then wrapped a Mickey Mouse band aid around her toe to heal it. She reached her arms up to me "Thank you Mama... can you put me up please?" I picked her up, gave her a gentle kiss and placed her in her bed. I sat down in my rocking chair and sang to her for a few minutes, as she closed her eyes and fell right to sleep.
I closed my eyes and sat there for a few minutes thinking and relaxing. I then heard a gentle whisper.......
"It will be okay. I promise. Do you trust me?"
This whisper was a sweet little reminder for me in the midst of everything that I am facing right now. It was a reminder that He is there. That He is ALWAYS there. It was a reminder that everything will be okay. It was a reminder that He is faithful..that He is ALWAYS faithful. It was a reminder that He has a plan, a plan that is so great, even beyond my imagination. It was a reminder that I just need to submit to His will, He plan and trust just Him. I know right now I may feel that I am at my weakest, but it's Him who makes me strong, Him who offers comfort and peace, Him who offers direction and Him who offers all of His love. I know down the road I will end up looking back on all of this, seeing His answers to all of my prayers, seeing that He had a hand in all of this and I know I will be blown away and left speechless with what He has done. Trusting God brings life. Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the presence of God in our hearts and lives.
"...and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father" -Mosiah 3:19