I have been
thinking and pondering a lot about faith. My faith has grown so much from my
trials and experiences in the last few months. I am grateful for that, but I want deep faith, the
kind of faith where I can face anything and not question, have doubts or be fearful...but just have faith. Faith that Heavenly Father has it all figured out and I just don't need to worry about it. That kind of faith. That's the kind of faith I want!
On Friday, Josh and I had date night. We went to this Chinese restaurant down the street. The food is so good and the prices are very reasonable. I am just going to throw it out there.. ....they know us pretty well.
When we were getting ready to leave, I cracked open my fortune cookie and found this lovely message inside. It was just what I needed. I now have it placed on my nightstand right next to my picture of Jesus Christ so I will be reminded of its powerful truth on days that I may feel discouraged or fearful.
During dinner, Josh and I were talking about my Dad and all the health problems that he is facing
and ways that we can try to help him to feel better and ways that we can show him just how much we love him. For those of you who might not know, my Dad is very sick. You can read my previous posts HERE and HERE to understand more about what is going on. We took him into our home about mid-September of 2013. Currently, Josh and I are his full time caregivers for as long as we can be. It's HARD. REALLY hard sometimes. I have had different comments from people telling me that they don't know how we do it, because they never could or never would take something like that on. My response and feelings to that are, yes we do it, of course it's hard sometimes but we get through it together. Everyday we put our faith, hope and trust in our Heavenly Father and do the very best we can. It's those three key principles that keep us going and give us the strength we need throughout each and every day as we care for my Dad. One scripture that continues to come to my mind often is Exodus 20:12 "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee" This commandment can be understood and interpreted in different ways. When I think about this scripture, I think about my life growing up and how incredibly blessed I was to have a Father who loved me, guided me, and cared for me in more ways than I can count. He has done and has gone over above and beyond for me throughout my life and continues to do so now. I feel like the roles are reversed and it's my turn now. My turn to take care of him and serve him in every way I can. That is the VERY least I can do for all that he has done for me.
I can't begin to tell you how huge a blessing it is being able to have him living with us and being able to see him everyday. One of the hardest parts for me as his daughter, is watching him suffer and seeing him in pain. I see it day, after day, after day right before my eyes and it tears me up inside. I know one day I will soon lose him, but I also have the knowledge that I will see him again. I am so grateful to have this knowledge and that is what gives me peace and that is what keeps me pressing forward. My Dad's life is in the hands of a loving Heavenly Father who knows him, loves him, created him, knows his situation, knows what he is feeling and what he is going through. I don't need to fear, I just need to have faith. Deep faith.
Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. God is able to do far more than we would dare to ask or even dream of...infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes. Don't be fearful, doubtful or discouraged. Just have faith. God's got it all figured out already for you.