FOSTER CARE ISN'T FOR ME..ITS FOR THEM.

Having her in our home since last Wednesday,  I have realized a valuable reality and important lesson. I have realized that fostering isn't about ME- it’s not about my fulfillment and needs or my wishes and desires- it’s about supporting the needs of the many children that will be placed in our care. Fostering a child presents a little bit of a dilemma because you welcome a child into your home and try to care for them as if they were your own child while at the same time being ever aware and respectful of the fact that they are not your child.  It is SO hard! It's so hard because I feel so torn and my emotions are all over the place due to this fact. This past week, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. The hardest thing is loving her with all our whole heart and realizing that she might just move on. Josh and I have fallen so much in love and attached to this little girl that its really hard to accept the fact that she might not be with us tomorrow, that there's that slight chance that she will be taking from us. Going into foster care and especially getting our first placement, it makes me wish that we could have a 100+ bedroom house so we can just adopt a bunch of children. I know that it not reality though. I have to keep telling myself that what does matter is the fact that we've been able to provide a great home for a child in need- regardless of whether that child stays in our home for days or months and regardless of how I feel about the judge’s final decision determining their future. These children are all in Gods hands. He is the one that has a plan for each of them. He has a future prepared for them.  I heard one foster Mom tell me  that "not only are you impacting the life of a child, but you are serving as a major resource and support to that child’s family as well.  In some cases your family may be the only reliable alternative that your foster child’s family may have to provide a safe and loving home for their children.  With this in mind, foster care isn't just for the children, but for the families of these children as well.  You are giving a family a chance to come back together again." How true is this! I keep telling myself that I just need to take it one day at a time and focus on what really matters most. Her. She matters most right now and God has a plan that is so much better than mine and He loves her more than I ever could.  Every night as I rock her to sleep and tickle her little back I sing "I Am a Child of God" to her and tell her just how much her Heavenly Father loves her. These are the moments that I will forever remember and will be forever ingrained in my heart.
Question for you Foster Mom's out there.
What is the hardest thing about fostering for you?