2015

2014 has come and gone so quickly. It's hard to believe its a new year already!

Last year was a year full of countless blessings, learning, loss, uncertainty, anxiety, and triumph. 

Here are some of the things that happened in 2014:

* We took my Dad into our home to care for him and lost him in July. I can say that was definitely one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing that I have ever been through. With the love and support of friends and family and a loving God, I came out of that stronger and more determined than ever before. I saw God's hand constantly in the midst of everything. I felt His love, His grace and His peace more than I ever have before. It was a time of heartache and sorrow, but it also was a time of reflection, healing and thankfulness. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him like crazy, but I have a strong feeling of faith, hope and peace within my soul that I will see him once again. I know that to be true with every fiber of my being. Feel free to read my Dad's eulogy that I wrote for him HERE.

* In April, after months and months of foster care training we finally got our first placement...a 4 year old little girl that we fell in love with instantly. From the moment she stepped through our front door, I had this strong feeling that she was meant to be apart of our forever family. I have never felt so many different emotions as I did with fostering. I experienced feelings of heartache, sorrow, anxiety, peace, hope, faith happiness, uncertainty, and fear at different times. In November, E's Moms rights were severed and we are now in the adoption process. The process with take about 4 months or so give or take so she will be able to be ours hopefully sometime around April of this year.

* We became business owners. My Husband, Josh was the Operations Manager for a company called Gamez on Wheelz for a little over 3 years. When Josh first got the offer to work for Gamez on Wheelz, he wasn't too sure as the pay was not that much. We talked about it and prayed about it. I will never forget me telling him to just take the job because something was telling me that God had big plans for him with this opportunity. Sure enough, one day his boss called him and ask him if he would be interested in purchasing the company. We were both ecstatic, especially Josh because he has always prayed and dreamed about being his own boss. This was a huge undertaking to take on but the more we prayed about it, God was putting things into place fast. The money that we needed literally just showed up one day. The process which should have taken alot longer took just weeks and boom!!....just like that we were the owners of Gamez on Wheelz!!

* Just two weeks before E's court date and us finding out she will be ours forever, I found out I was pregnant!!! Months after trying and praying it finally happened!! These two wonderful blessings hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt speechless by God's faithfulness and His goodness. I was over the moon excited. I am now just a little over 11 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good. Nauseous here and there and my back kills all the time but its all so worth it! 

Overall, 2014 was such a great minus the loss of my father. But in the grand scheme of everything God is so good. He is always good!! I have a feeling that 2015 will be a great year....a year of many new things....new adventures, new things to learn, new trials and new beginnings. We are ready for you 2015! Bring it on!!

DADS EULOGY

My Dad passed away 10 days ago. I tossed around the idea of sharing my Dad's eulogy on this little space of mine. Its seems so personal, but I have shared so much on here already and I want this space to be something to look back on and remember all the good times and bad times. I want this space to tell my story. God's story.

Good morning.  First off..I would like to say thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being here today.  I know a lot of you have travelled from near & far to show your love, respect and support. I want you all to know that means the world to my family and I…..so thank you. It is such a healing gift to be surrounded by wonderful friends and family who care so much. Your friendship, your love and your support allow us to know that my Dad will be nearby us always and forever.

Today I want to give thanks and celebrate the life of a wonderful man that I am so very proud to call my Dad. To be honest it feels odd to be standing up here today. I never thought or wanted this day to ever come, but as I am standing here…. I realize just how very fortunate I am to have been blessed with such an amazing Dad. 

This past week has been a very difficult one for all of us to say the least. I feel like a huge piece of me is missing. I feel as if my entire world has been turned upside down.  I had so much trouble coming up with what I wanted to say today to honor my Dad and to express just how much he meant to me. I wanted it to be nothing but perfect.  I wanted to give him my very best…because he deserved nothing but the very best. I kept telling myself, “How do I give a short speech about my Dad who has served as the narrator throughout my entire life?” In the hours and days since my Dad’s passing, I felt as if I had lost all my words. I suppose it is because he was the person that provided me with so many of them. So many times over the past few days, as I have struggled and cried I have thought, I should go talk to my Dad. I need a big hug from my Dad to make everything feel better and help me see this all the right way. He was good at that and I loved him for that. Helping me to see things right side up.

If there was anyone who possessed all the best qualities of a great person, it was my Dad. He was the light of my life. My hero. My everything. He was a good and accomplished man with such a generous heart. I loved seeing him smile and laugh, it brought so much joy to me and would make my heart smile every time. He was so funny and had such a great sense of humor. If he could find anything to joke about, he would.

If there was just one thing I could tell you about my Dad, it was that he loved my brother and I more than anything in this entire world. In his eyes, we were the light of his life. His everything.  When anyone would ever ask about my brother and I, his face would light up with so much joy that it could fill a room of complete darkness. He loved bragging about us and how much we meant to him. He could tell story after story and would always say “I have been so blessed with two wonderful kids. They mean the world to me. I don’t need anything else but them.”

My Dad’s passion was sailing. He was good at it. Really good at it. My Mom and my Dad used to own a really nice sailboat when we lived on the East Coast and they used to go sailing all the time. He loved being out on the water. I remember when my Dad was living in California and I went to visit him for a few days. He took me down to the Marina one morning. As we were walking along looking at all the boats that were there, my Dad stopped at one sailboat and said “this one is my favorite, I’m going to get a boat just like this one. I’m going to hop on it really quick and see if I can see what the cabin looks like underneath.” I looked at him and said “Dad! You can’t get on that boat! It’s not yours.” “Oh sure I can” he said…”It will just take a quick second.” He hopped on the boat and started looking around as I am looking around making sure the owner to this boat doesn’t show up and wonder what he’s doing on his boat. Once he was done looking at the cabin underneath, he stood up and looked at me and said “Well come on, let’s go sailing…..this is my boat.” That was my first time sailing and I loved it. My Dad and I spent the entire day out on the water.

As I look around at all these pictures of my Dad, I see someone who is handsome, someone who is strong, someone who is smart, someone who is determined, and someone who has always been devoted. My Dad absolutely hated taking pictures. I can just imagine what he is saying right now “You know I hate taking pictures and here you go enlarging a bunch of them to 20x30 for everyone to see!!” Sorry Daddy.

I could stand here and tell you so many stories and memories that I have of my Dad, but that would take all day. I can tell you that some of my greatest memories and blessings were when Josh and I took my Dad into our home to care for him while he was really sick. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to do that for him and I know that my Dad is eternally grateful for it too. He lived with us for about a year until he passed away early Saturday morning. Within that year we laughed, we cried, we fought and we all had a great time together. Looking back, one of the greatest things I enjoyed most was just having my Dad there every single day. Being able to just walk into his room whenever I wanted to talk to him, laugh with him and give him a kiss goodnight. A little over a month ago, my sweet Husband bought this book for my Dad and I to fill out together. It’s a journal where we recorded all of his unique experiences and memories. It covers all aspects of life (childhood, adolescence, adulthood, faith, career, and parenthood). Every night after putting Esperanza to bed, I would go into his room and we would spend ½ hour to an hour filling this book out together. One night I was really tired and after a few questions I told my Dad we would stop there and pick it back up again the next night. He turned to look at me and said “Do you have to go to bed right now? Can we just do a few more please? I really enjoy doing this with you.” I now have this journal….this treasure….a piece of my Dad that I hold so dear to my heart and will be able to keep forever to look back on whenever I want and be able to show it to our children.

While living in our home, my Dad blessed our lives in more ways than he will ever know. Thank you Dad for being the most incredible Father that a girl could ever ask for. Thank you for always making sure that I knew I was loved each and every day. You always used to say that you were so lucky to have us in your life…..but you were so wrong Dad. We were the lucky ones. Out of all the Father’s in the world-we were blessed with YOU.  Thank you Dad for being you. Right now I don’t have the words to express just how much I miss you and how much I love. I will always miss you and you will never be forgotten, but I know you are in a better place now. You are now without pain and you are not suffering and knowing that brings me peace and comfort and makes the healing process a lot easier. This parting is not forever Dad. I look forward with a bright hope and faith to that day when I will get to see you and won’t have to ever let go of you ever again but will get to spend eternity with you.  What a glorious day that will be when I will get to see you face to face! This is not goodbye….but I will see you soon!  I love you Daddy.