Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Foster Training: Class #3

Two words to describe how I am feeling this morning. Emotionally drained. After last night's class, I 
went home and cried like a big giant baby. I cried out to God for these kids (all 14,000 of them)
I prayed that a huge majority of them will find good homes. Good homes where people will love, 
nurture and care for them with everything they have got. Good homes where people will teach them,
guide them, protect them, comfort them, and never give up on them. Ever. Good homes where they 
can feel secure, wanted and accepted. I am determined to make sure that our home will offer all of 
those things and so much more for these kids. I am determined to make a difference and impact 
in each of the kids that are placed in our home...little do they know that they will be making an 
impact and difference in our lives too. I feel as if the foster system is this giant bubble. As we peer
 in from the outside upon these kids, we have no clue what is really going on inside the foster system
and most importantly on the inside of these children. They are broken, lost, detached, angry, sad,
depressed, insecure, negative, confused, torn, and feel like there is no place that they can call "home"

I have always felt very grateful for this life that I have been given. After just 3 classes, there are literally
no words to describe how incredibly and immensely grateful I am for my life and the wonderful childhood that I had with parents who gave me comfort, support, guidance, protection, security, hope, and love.....loads and loads of unconditional love. These kids have experienced none of these things. 

In our class last night, we were learning about situational things we all at some point will face in our lives. (death, divorce, infertility, etc...just to name a few) These are all things that some or most of us face. Right?? Well last night I was reflecting on my entire life and was trying to think of the worst thing I have had to face or go through. The very worst. My parents divorced when I was a junior in High School. I was in shock and denial at first, then I went through stages of anger, sadness and depression. I was devastated. How? Why? I didn't see any of it coming. Last night I was trying to take myself back to that time and really trying to remember exactly how I felt. I then imagined all these kids and thought about what they have been through and what the worst situation has been for them. What I have been through doesn't even remotely come close to what these kids have been through and what they are going through mentally, physically and most importantly emotionally. Even if I could remember and take every single bad thing that has happened in my life and compare it alongside doesn't compare. Not even close. I would like to share a few stories of some children who are in the foster system currently. Just to warn you.. a lot of it may be hard to read and take in but this is the reality of all of it. This is the reality of what these children have gone through and what they are going through. These are their stories and this is their life in a nutshell. Very heartbreaking, but true.


Karen is 16 and has been in foster care several times during her life due to neglect and medical neglect. Her mother has recurrent problems with alcohol. Karen has been in this foster home for three months; this is the second time she has lived there. Karen has Fetal Alcohol Effect. She also has a heart murmur. Karen is about three years behind her grade level in school and has been diagnosed with dyslexia, a reading disorder. Karen has tow friends from her foster parents church, who are two years younger than she is. Karen has a big smile when she is happy ans she loves to dress up. Most of the time Karen is very quiet and wants to stay in her room by herself. She looks forward to Sundays when her mother is invited to dinner with the foster family.

Beau is 8 and has been diagnosed with Hepatitis C. He entered foster care 17 months ago because of neglect. Beau's mother has chronic Hepatitis C and is too ill for a liver transplant operation. She is currently in hospice care. She is not expected to live long. Beau is angry that is mother is ill. Beau is on daily medication. He is in the third grade and goes to public school but misses often due to his medical condition. Beau is placed with his grandmother, who has a poor relationship with Beau's mother. Beau has three close friends and has dreams of flying an airplane some day. He likes animals and wants to have a cat, but caring for cats can be dangerous for people with poor immune systems, so he cannot have one. Beau cries before going to his medical appointments. Sometimes Beau yells at his best friends and says he doesn't want to be friends anymore. 

Jason is 15 and Hope is 9. Their father, who physically abused Jason, is now in prison for drug related charges. Jason and Hope have been in foster care for seven months now. They have not seen their mother since shortly after Hope was born. Jason and Hope are very close because Jason has been responsible for taking care of Hope. Hope is in the 4th grade and is doing well. She loves to read. She is a tomboy and is more comfortable playing soccer or baseball with the boys on the playground, but she does not have any close friends. She gets upset easily and gets into fist fights with kids on the playground. She is resistant toward her foster mother and still looks to Jason for nurturing and guidance. Jason recently disclosed to his foster mother that he is gay. He says that he has known that he is gay for as long as he can remember. He says he is not sexually active and that no one else knows he is gay. Jason gets along well with his classmates, but he has no close friends. Jason does well in school and is affectionate in the family. He becomes very sad at times, but is able to talk about his feelings, especially about his father and mother. 

****Tonight we have our family evaluation interview with our licensing specialist. Wish us luck****


Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring 
for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. 
James 1:27

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