Monday, January 16, 2012

Love Dare Day 1- Love is Patient

Love is Patient
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
bearing with one another in love.  -Ephesians 4:2

Love works.
 It is life’s most powerful motivator, and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others, and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it.
Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes.

Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation.
You are slow to anger.
You have a long fuse instead of a quick temper.
Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you.

Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.
No one likes to be around an impatient person. It causes you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways. The irony of anger toward a wrongful action is that it spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems.  But patience stops problems in their tracks. More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.
If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate or stay under control? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so, you are spreading poison rather than medicine.
Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. You don’t get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives.
Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn’t rush to judgment but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment.

The Bible says:
 “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly”
(Proverbs 14:29)
As sure as a lack of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the
practice of patience will foster peace and quiet.

 “A hot- tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute” (Proverbs 15:18)

Statements like these from the book of Proverbs are clear principles with timeless relevance. Patience is where love meets wisdom. And every marriage needs that combination to stay healthy.
Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure.
But can your spouse count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demeaning lecture that makes her feel like a child? Can he know that cheering during the last seconds of a football game won’t invite a loud-mouthed laundry list of ways he should be spending his time? It turns out that few people are as hard to live with as an impatient person.
What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach:

 “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another”? (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. But a wise man or woman will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationship. That’s a good starting point to demonstrate true love.
This journey is a process, and the first thing you must resolve to possess is patience. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint. But it’s a race worth running.

The first part of this dare is fairly simple.  Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart.  For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.  If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.  It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.

Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.  (James 1:19)

Okay, so there you have it!  I’m challenging all of you to do this with me!  
In a world that attacks, devalues, and redefines relationships every day, we need to learn how to rescue and protect our marriages from the storm.


At January 16, 2012 at 2:27 PM , Blogger Taesha Baldridge Cecil said...

great post! i'll tell my mom to read this(:

At January 16, 2012 at 2:40 PM , Anonymous Kimberly Bonham said...

Thanks Taesha!
Hope your having a great day!

At January 16, 2012 at 4:54 PM , Blogger ginanorma said...

Printing this now!!!

At January 16, 2012 at 9:04 PM , Blogger 21SaraLoves said...

Good post! I adore the photo!

At January 18, 2012 at 11:26 AM , Blogger ginanorma said...

I love how you took the time to write this out, and the WAY you wrote it. It's a teaching way, which is so helpful for people.
My marriage has been through the ringer, I haven't blogged about it {yet}
but marriage, next to parenting is the most self sacrificing act.
I think if two people are moving in the direction of love, CROSS love, and putting on everything you mentioned here, even when we fail a lot, but if two are moving in that direction, oh boy, what can be done! What a beautiful thing that is!

At January 18, 2012 at 1:44 PM , Blogger Kimberly Bonham said...

I always love reading your comments.
I am so sorry to hear about your marriage. I will be praying for you!
It's also very important to draw closer to each other and closer to the Lord. I have found that when we both put the Lord first together, things are beautiful :)

At January 18, 2012 at 1:46 PM , Blogger Kimberly Bonham said...

Thank you Sara!
New follower of your blog!


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